Treść
What happened to the man who put his false
teeth in backwards?
He ate himself!
Losowe wpisy
- » Q: What do you call a blonde
in a leather
jacket?
A: Married.
- » Yo mama so dark she went to night school and
was marked
absent!
- » Mother: What was the first thing you learned in
class ?
Daughter: How to talk without moving my lips !
- » Q: How does Bill keep Gennifer Flowers away
from the White House?
A: He keeps offering to send Ted Kennedy
over to give her a ride.
- » A
married couple was in a terrible
accident where the woman's face was
severely burned.
The doctor
told the husband that they couldn't graft the skin from her
body,
so the husband offered to donate some of his own skin.
However,
the only skin on his body that the doctor found suitable would
have
to come from his rear end.
The husband and wife agreed that
they would tell no one about where the
skin came from, and requested
that the doctor also honor their secret.
After all, this was a very
delicate matter.
After the surgery was completed, everyone was
astounded at the woman's
new beauty. She looked more beautiful
than she ever had before! All her
friends and relatives just went on
and on about her youthful beauty!
One day, she was alone with
her husband, and she was overcome with
emotion at his sacrifice.
She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you d
id for
me. There is no way I could ever repay you."
"My
darling," he replied," think nothing of it. I get all the thanks
I
need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek."
- » Did you hear about the flag's birthday?
It was a Happy one!
- » Knock Knock
Who's there !
Acid
!
Acid who ?
Acidently on purpose !
- » One day a wife complained, "This wall clock
almost
killed my mother today.
It fell only seconds after she got up
from the couch."
The husband grunted and replied, "The darn clock
always was
slow."
- » ttle Johnny was in class and the teacher
announced that
they were going to try something different to help
everyone get to know
each other a little better, and to help with their
spelling.
She explained, "I want you to stand up and give us the
occupation of
your father, spell it, and say one thing he would give
us all if he was
here today."
The first student raised her
hand to volunteer.
"Marcy," the teacher said. "You may go
first."
Marcy replied, "My father is a banker. B-A-N-K-E-R and if he
was here
today, he would give us all a shiny new penny."
The teacher said, "Very nice, Marcy, who wants to go next?"
Kevin
stood up and announced, "My father is a baker. B-A-K-E-R and if
he
was here today, he would give us all a freshly-baked cookie."
"Very good," the teacher told Kevin.
Jeff was next, and he said,
"My father is an accountant. A-K, no wait,
A-C-K, no..."
n
Before he could attempt to spell it once more, the teacher cut
him off
and told him to sit back down and to think about it for a
while. When
he thought he knew how to spell it, he could stand back up
and try
again.
Little Johnny raised his hand in excitement
hoping to be acknowledged
by the teacher. The teacher called on
little Johnny to go next.
Johnny said, "My father is a bookie.
B-O-O-K-I-E and if he was here
today, he would give us all 20:1 odds
Jeff will never be able to spell
"accountant."
- » What do you get if you cross a cow with a tension
headache?
A bad mood!
- » Q: What is the difference between a dog and a
viola?
A: The dog knows when to stop scratching.
- » Knock Knock
Who's there !
Bush
!
Bush who ?
Bush your money where your mouth is !
- » Read more Aardvark jokes
- » The
attention span of a computer is as
long as its electrical cord.
- » Why did the bees go on strike ?
Because they
wanted more honey and shorter working flowers !