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What do you call a fish with no eyes ? Fish !

Losowe wpisy

» What do you get if you stuff your computer's disk drive with herbs? A thyme machine.
» How do comedians send messages? By tee-hee mail.
» What does a snowman eat for dinner? Ice-burgers.
» I've been sitting at this computer for hours and I haven't seen a single website. That's because you're supposed to sit facing the screen.
» A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde were robbing a supermarket when a police officer walked in the store. The three women decide to hide in three potato sacks. The cop kicks the first bag, and the brunette says, "meow", the cop says, "oh, its only a cat" He kicks the second bag, and the redhead says, "woof, woof". The cop says, "its only a dog". He kicks the third bag, and the blonde says, "potato"
» If King Kong went to Hong Kong to play ping-gong and died, what would they put on his coffin? A lid.
» There were these three brothers that were very close to each other. The brothers always went to a local bar on every Friday at 5:30 on the dot. When the brothers got married they all got married to their wifes to be on the same day and at the same place. When the brothers moved away from each other to go on with their lives with their new wife, they all promised each other that they would still go to the bar every friday at 5:30 and drink for each other. On the first Friday that the brothers were separated, the first brother went to a local bar and ordered three drinks. He took one sip from the first glass the took one sip from the second glass then from the third. He did this until all the beer was gone, then he paid the bartender and went home. This kept up for about three week before the bartender finally asked why he did that. The guy explained about the promise th at he had with his brothers. The bartender said that he thought that was a very good promise to keep with each other. One day the same guy came in and asked for only two glasses of beer. The bartender thinking something awful has happened, said "I am awfully sorry about your brother." The guy not knowing anything about what the bartender was talking about said "What happened to him?" The bartender said that when he only ordered two drinks instead of three he thought that something awful had happened. The brother then said "No, nothing happened to my brother, I just decided to give up alcohol."
» My problem is that I keep stealing things when I go Christmas shopping. Can you give me something for it! Doctor: Try this medicine...and if it doesn't work come back and bring me a new video camera.
» What's the difference between a headmaster and a poisonous snake ? You can make a pet out of a snake !
» One day 3 women went to the top of a water flume in a swimming pool. There was a black haired, brown haired, and a blonde haired woman. When they got to the top a genie appeared from nowhere and said "when your going down the flume shout out the on thing that you want and you will land in it at the bottom. So the black haired woman went down and shouted "money" and landed in a load of cash, the brown haired woman went down and shouted "gorgous men!" and landed in a pile of men. The blonde woman wasnt listening to the genie so she went down shouting weeeeeee.
» The Three Laws of Secure Computing 1) Don't buy a computer. 2) If you do buy a computer, don't plug it in. 3) If you do plug it in, sell it and return to step 1.
» A male market researcher was calling on homes on behalf of Vaseline. A woman answered the door."Do you use Vaseline?" asked the researcher. "Certainly," she said. "It's very good for cuts, grazes and burns." "And what about anything else?" he asked. "Like what?" He became embarrassed. "Well, sex, maybe." Oh, of course." she said. "I smear it on the bedroom doorknob to keep my husband out."
» Q: What is the difference between a saxophone and a chainsaw? A: It's all in the grip.
» The parents were very disappointed in the grades that their son brought home. "The only consolation I can find in these awful grades," lamented the father, "is that I know he never cheated during his exams."
» Will you come to my party on Saturday? Yes, please, What's the address? 25 The High Street. Just push the bell with your elbow. Why with my elbow? Well, you won't be empty-handed, will you!