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At three o'clock one morning a veterinary surgeon was woken from a deep sleep by the ringing of his telephone. He staggered downstairs and answered the phone. "I'm sorry if I woke you," said a voice at the other end of the line. "That's all right," said the vet, "I had to get up to answer the telephone anyway."

Losowe wpisy

» A little boy came downstairs crying late one night. "What's wrong?" asked his mother. "Do people really come from dust, like they said in church?" he sobbed. "In a way they do," said his mother. "And when they die so they turn back to dust?" "Yes, they do." The little boy began to cry again. "Well, under my bed there's someone either coming or going."
» A religious man is on top of a roof during a great flood. A man comes by in a boat and says "get in, get in!" The religous man replies, " no I have faith in God, he will grant me a miracle." Later the water is up to his waist and another boat comes by and the guy tells him to get in again. He responds that he has faith in god and god will give him a miracle. With the water at about chest high, another boat comes to rescue him, but he turns down the offer again cause "God will grant him a miracle." With the water at chin high, a helicopter throws down a ladder and they tell him to get in, mumbling with the water in his mouth, he again turns down the request for help for the faith of God. He arrives at the gates of heaven with broken faith and says to Peter, I thought God would grand me a miracle and I have been let down." St. Peter chuckles and responds, "I don't know what you're c omplaining about, we sent you three boats and a helicopter."
» How do you find white shirts on the Internet? Use a starch engine.
» Q: What's Clinton doing to make Americans happy? A: If you've paid your tax bill and have enough money left to feed your family--you're happy.
» Yo mama is so poor when her friend came over to use the bathroom she said ok, choose a corner.
» Why is the air so clean and healthy on Halloween? Because so many witches are sweeping the sky.
» Diner: Watch out! Your thumbs in my soup! Waiter: Don't worry, Sir, it's not that hot!
» Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison. During his stay, he got along well with the guards and all his fellow inmates. The warden saw that deep down, Andy was a good person and made arrangements for Andy to learn a trade while doing his time. After three years, Andy was recognized as one of the best carpenters in the local area. Often he would be given a weekend pass to do odd jobs for the citizens of the community.... and he always reported back to prison before Sunday night was over. The warden was thinking of remodeling his kitchen and in fact had done much of the work himself. But he lacked the skills to build a set of kitchen cupboards and a large counter top, which he had promised his wife. So he called Andy into his office and asked him to complete the job for him. But, alas, Andy refused. He told the warden, Gosh, I'd really like to help you but counter fitting is what go t me into prison in the first place.
» Patron: Didn't you tell me the chef here cooked for the late heads of Europe? Waiter: Yes, and that's why they are the late heads of Europe.
» YO MAMA SO STUPID WHEN THEY SAID THAT IT IS CHILLY OUTSIDE,SHE WENT OUTSIDE WITH A BOWL AND A SPOON.
» Q: How many Italians does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Two. One to change it and one to sprinkle it with Parmesan.
» Q: What what can you make from baked beans and onions? A: Tear gas.
» What do stupid kids do at Halloween? They carve a face on an apple and go bobbing for pumpkins.
» Did you hear about the New 3 Million Dollar Alabama State Lottery? 3 dollars a year for a million years.
» Q: How many MP's does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Twenty-one. One to change it and twenty to form a fact-finding committee to learn more about how it's done.