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What does a baby computer call his
father?
Data.
Losowe wpisy
- » What kind of dog wears a uniform and medals ?
A
guard dog !
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drive?
A: A LOCOmotive.
- » According to inside contacts, the Japanese
banking crisis
shows no signs of ameliorating. If anything, it's
getting worse.
Following last week's news that Origami Bank had
folded, we are
hearing that Sumo Bank has gone belly up, and Bonsai
Bank plans to cut back
some of its branches. Karaoke Bank is up for
sale, and it is (you
guessed it!) going for a
song.
Meanwhile, shares in Kamikaze Bank have nose-dived, and 500 back-office
staff at Karate Bank got the chop. Analysts report that there is
something fishy going on at Sushi Bank, and staff there fear they may get a
raw deal.
- » What was the policeman's
baby's first words
?
Hallo, Hallo, Hallo !
- » Conductor: Again from measure 5, if you
please.
Voice from viola section: But Maestro, we have no measure
numbers.
- » A traffic Policeman recently
stopped a
woman for exceeding the posted speed limit. He asked the driver
her
name.
She said, "I'm Mrs. Chadivaler Zuminskagia Ragretumunga from
the
Republic of Uzbetikan visiting my daughter in
Columbia."
As she finished speaking the cop paused for a moment and then put away
his summons book and pen, and said, "Well... OK... but don't let
me
catch you speeding again."
- » Why is Dick Clark a
favourite star with
horses?
Because he was a disk jockey from Filly!
- » Ralph was driving home one evening and
realized that it was his daughter's birthday and he hadn't bought her a
present. He drove to the mall and ran to the toy store and he asked
the
store manager, "How much is that new Barbie in the window?"
The Manager replied, "Which one? We have Barbie goes to the gym for
$19.95, Barbie goes to the Ball for $19.95, Barbie goes shopping for
$19.95, Barbie goes to the beach for $19.95, Barbie goes to the
Nightclub
for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $375.00."
"Why
is the Divorced Barbie $375.00 when all the others are
$19.95?!?",
Ralph asked surprised.
The Manager replies, "Well, Divorced
Barbie comes with Ken's car,
Ken's House, Ken's boat, Ken's dog,
Ken's cat and Ken's
furniture."
- » Did you hear about the monster who had an
extra pair of hands? Where did he keep them?
In a handbag.
- » A
local policeman had just finished his
shift one cold November evening and
was at home with his wife.
"You just won't believe what happened this evening , in all my years
on the force I've never seen anything like it."
"Oh yes
dear, what happened ?"
"I came across two guys down by the canal,
one of them was drinking
battery acid and the other was eating
fireworks."
"Drinking battery acid and eating fireworks!! What did
you do with
them ?"
"Oh that was easy, I charged one and
let the other off."
- » What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot
?
A carrot !
- » Two men were changing in the locker room
after a game of tennis. One
notices the other one is putting on pair of
stockings and suspenders.
He says "When did you start wearing them?"
To which the other man
replies "Since my wife found a pair on the
back seat of the car."
- » What is a double-blind study?
Two
orthopaedists reading an electrocardiogram.
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crying. I said, "Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?" She
said, "No, I hate myself now."
- » What are spiders webs good
for ?
Spiders
!