Treść
What is Dracula's favorite
fruit?
Neck-tarines.
Losowe wpisy
- » Bob and Tom both like to golf. One day
Bob
went to Tom and said, "Hey look at this great ball!" Tom replied,
"What's so great about it?" Bob said, "Well if you lose it, it will
beep until you find it, and if it goes into the water it will float.
This ball is impossible to lose!" "Wow!", said Tom, "Where did you
get that from?" Bob replied, "I found it."
- » What goes dot, dot, dash, squeak ?
Mouse
code !
- » A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when
suddenly a car
came along and hit the door, ripping it off
completely.
When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining
bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW.
"Officer,
look what they've done to my Beeeeemer!!!", he whined.
"You
lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!", retorted the
officer.
"You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't
even
notice that your left arm was ripped off!"
"Oh no!", replied the
lawyer, finally noticing the bloody left
shoulder where his arm once
was.
"Where's my Rolex???!!!"
- » Aunt Bessie loved to visit her nieces and
nephews. However, she had relatives all over the country.
The
problem was that no matter how much she enjoyed seeing them, she
hated flying. No matter how safe people told her it was, she was always
worried that someone would have a bomb on the plane.
She read
books about how safe it was and listened to the stewardess
demonstrate all the safety features. But she still worried herself silly
every time a visit was coming up.
Finally, the family decided
that maybe if she saw the statistics she'd
be convinced. So they sent
her to a friend of the family who was an
actuary.
"Tell
me," she said suspiciously, "what are the chances that someone
will
have a bomb on a plane?"
The actuary looked through his tables
and said, "A very small chance.
Maybe one in five hundred thousand."
She nodded, then thought for a moment. "So what are the o
dds of two
people having a bomb on the same plane?"
Again
he went through his tables.
"Extremely remote," he said. "About
one in a billion."
Aunt Bessie nodded and left his office.
And from that day on, every time she flew, she took a bomb with
her.
- » Knock Knock
Who's there ?
Cherry
!
Cherry who ?
Cherry oh, see you later !
- » A ragged individual stranded for several months
on a small desert island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean one day
noticed a bottle lying in the sand with a piece of paper in it.
Rushing to
the bottle, he pulled out the cork and with shaking hands
withdrew the
message.
"Due to lack of maintenance," he read,
"we regretfully have found it
necessary to cancel your e-mail
account."
- » Q: Why did the farmer call his
pig
"Ink"?
A: Because it was always running out of the pen.
- » When is a farmer like a magician?
When he turns
his cow into pasture.
- » Why aren't burgers too
good at
basketball?
Too many turnovers!
- » A blonde and a brunette were talking. The
brunette complained, "Everytime my boyfriend brings home flowers, I have
to to spend the weekend with my legs in the air." The blonde asks,
"Don't you have a vase?"
- » Father Christmas win a saucepan in a
competition.
Now thats what you call pot luck !
- » A nurse was
showing some student
nurses through the hospital. "This will be the most
hazardous
section in the hospital for you. The men on this floor are
almost
well."
- » Knock Knock
Who's there !
Annabel
!
Annabel who ?
Annabel would be useful on this door !
- » What bird tastes just like butter ?
A stork
!
- » Why didn't the chicken skeleton cross
the
road ?
Because he didn't have enough guts