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Did you hear about the ghost who went on safari?
He was a big-game haunter!
Losowe wpisy
- » Q: What are the blonde's first words after 4
years of college?
A: "Would you like fries with that?"
- » If you watch the way that many motorists
drive you will soon reach the conclusion that the most dangerous
part
of a car is the nut behind the wheel.
- » Q: Why can't blondes make ice cubes?
A:
They always forget the recipe.
- » Which burgers can tell your fortune?
Medium
burgers!
- » What's pink, lives in a sty and drinks
blood?
A hampire.
- » What did the little kid do with the
dead
battery?
He buried it.
- » Why
did the vampire have pedestrian eyes?
They looked both ways before they crossed.
- » A married couple is driving down the
interstate doing
55 mph. The husband is behind the wheel. His wife looks
over at him and
says, "Honey, I know we've been married for 15 years,
but, I want a
divorce."
The husband says nothing but slowly
increases speed to 60 mph.
She then says, "I don't want you to
try to talk me out of it, because
I've been having an affair with
your best friend, and he's a better
lover than you."
Again
the husband stays quiet and just speeds up as he clenches his
hands
on the wheels.
She says, "I want the house." Again the husband
speeds up, and now is
doing 70 mph.
She says, "I want the
kids too." The husband just keeps driving
faster, and faster, until
he's up to 80 mph.
She says, "I want the car, the checking
account, and all the credit
cards too." The husband slowly starts to
veer toward a bridge overpass
piling, as she says, "Is there an
ything you want?"
The husband says, "No, I've got everything
I need right here."
She asks, "What's that?"
The
husband replies just before they hit the wall at 90 mph, "I've
got the
airbag!"
- » Did you hear about the football team who ate
too much pudding?
They got jellygated!
- » "Cash, check or charge?" I asked after
folding items the
woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet
I notice a
remote control for a television set in her purse.
"Do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
"No," she
replied. "But my husband refused to come shopping with me,
so I figured
this was the most evil thing I could do to him."
- » What did the great Ape say as he plummeted
from the
skyscraper?
Listen baby, I think I'm falling for you!
- » Why did the dog sleep so poorly?
By mistake he
plugged his electric blanket into the toaster and kept
popping out
of bed all night!
- » A farmer
was interviewing a young man for
the job of assistant farmhand.
`You'll need to be fit,' said
the farmer. `Have you ever had any
illnesses? Any
accidents?'
'No, sir,' replied the young man proudly. `But you're on crutches.
You must have had an accident!' said the farmer.
`Oh, the
crutches!' said the young man. `A bull tossed me last week.
But
that wasn't an accident! He did it on purpose!'
- » A driver tucked this note under the
windshield wiper of his automobile. "I've circled the block for 20
minutes.
I'm late for an appointment, and if I don't park here I'll
lose my
job. Forgive us our trespasses."
When he came back
he found a parking ticket and this note: "I've
circled the block
for 20 years, and if I don't give you a ticket, I'll
lose my job.
Lead us not into temptation."
- » What game did the dentist play
when she
was a child?...Caps and robbers