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- » Question: What did the dead raccoon say in his will? Answer: "Leave it to Beaver."
- » Doctor, Doctor, with all the excitement of Christmas I can't sleep. Try lying on the edge of your bed...you'll soon drop off!
- » Knock Knock Who's there ! Basket ! Basket who ? Basket home, it's nearly dark!
- » A saxophone is like a lawsuit. Everyone is happy when the case is closed.
- » Knock Knock Who's there ? Clown ! Clown who ? Clown for the count !
- » What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a boy scout? A boyscout who helps little old ladies hop across the street.
- » Q: How did the blonde break her leg playing hockey with the Toronto Maple Leafs? A: She fell out of the tree.
- » What did the maggot say to his friend when he got stuck in an apple ? Worm your way out of that one !
- » What did the spider say to the fly ? We're getting married do you want to come to the webbing ?
- » What did the dog do with the history professor? They got together and talked over old times.
- » What is a dog's favourite Easter treat? Jelly bones!
- » Yo mama so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn"
- » What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig ? A teddy boar !
- » This guy is walking with his friend. He says to this friend, "I'm a walking economy." The friend replies "How so?" "My hair line is in recession, my stomach is a victim of inflation, and both of these together are putting me into a deep depression!"
- » How do you start a teddy bear race ? Ready, teddy, go !