Treść
Why did Julius Caesar buy crayons ?
He
wanted Mark Antony !
Losowe wpisy
- » What birds spend all their time on their knees ?
Birds of prey !
- » During a big fire downtown the firemen
were having a bit of
trouble. A woman was stuck on the fourth floor
with her baby. The fire
fighters instructed her to toss the child out
the window, under which they
had placed a net, but the mother
refused. Things looked grim until a
tall, well-built black man burst
through the crowd and shouted to the
women. He said that he was a
professional football player and that he
could catch the baby safely.
After a few minutes more of reassurances by
the man, the mother
finally let the child drop.
The football player made a breathtaking
catch, and everybody cheered.
At that moment the man suddenly raised
the child high in the air, spiked
it on the ground and yelled,
"TOUCHDOWN!!"
- » What do you call a man who opens the car door for
you?
A chauffeur.
- » Why don't lobsters share?
They're
shellfish.
- » Why did the blonde have
blisters on her
lips?
From trying to blow out lightbulbs.
- » Little Johnny was crying one day, and his dad
asked him why.
'I've lost five cents,' sobbed
Johnny.
'Don't worry,' said his dad kindly.' Here's five more for you,'
At
this Johnny howled louder than ever.
'Now what is it ?' asked his
dad.
'I wish I'd said I'd lost ten cents!'
- » Fred: I got 100 in school today.
Mother:
Wonderful. What did you get 100 in?
Jason: Two things: I got 50 in
Spelling and 50 in History.
Mother: Well, at least you can add !
- » Two elderly ladies had been friends for many
decades.
Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and
adventures.
Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a
few times a week
to play cards.
One day they were playing
cards when one looked at the other and said,
"Now don't get mad at
me... I know we've been friends for a long
time, but I just can't
remember your name. I've thought and thought, but
I can't recall
it. Please tell me what your name is."
Her friend glared at her.
For at least three minutes she just looked at
her.
Finally
she said, "How soon do you need to know?"
- » Why do pigs never recover from illness ?
Because you have to kill them before you cure them !
- » Three weeks after her wedding
day,
Joanna called her minister. "Reverend," she wailed, "John and I
had
a DREADFUL fight!"
"Calm down, my child," said the minister, "it's
not half as bad as
you think it is. Every marriage has to have its
first fight!"
"I know, I know!" said Joanna, "but what am I going
to do with the
BODY?"
- » What do you get if you cross a plum
with a
man eating monster?
A purple people eater.
- » What did the sausage say when it
couldn't log on to the Internet?
If at first you don't succeed Fry, Fry
again
- » How do you see that a linedancer came from
Belgium
and not from the Netherlands?
He wears the cardboard box on
his boots.
- » When a dirty kid has finished taking a bath, what
is
still dirty?
The bathtub.
- » Teacher : Can't you retain anything in your
head overnight ?
Pupil : Of course, I've had this cold in my head
for two days !