Treść
How can you tell if a snake is a
baby snake?
It has a rattle.
Losowe wpisy
- » An idiot decided to start a chicken
farm, so he bought a hundred chickens to start. A month later, he
returned to the dealer for another hundred chickens because all of the
first
lot had died. A month later he was back at the dealers for
another
hundred chickens for the second lot had also died. "But I
think I know
where I'm going wrong," said the idiot. "I think I am
planting them too
deep."
- » JUDY: What did the ghosts say to Santa
Claus?
MIKE: We'll have a boo Christmas without you.
- » What duo were famous
for stealing horses?
Bonnie and
Clydesdale!
- » I was once in a play called
Breakfast In Bed.
Did you have a big role?
No, just toast and marmalade.
- » Why did the Pilgrims eat turkey on
Thanksgiving?
They couldn't get the moose in the oven!
- » Did you hear about the blonde with tire marks
on
her back? She crawled across the street when the sign said
"DON'T
WALK".
- » A woman telephoned her local newspaper to
let them know that she had just given birth to eighteen children.
The
reporter didn't quite hear the message and said, "Would you
repeat
that?"
"Not if I can help it," replied the woman.
- » Q: How many Virgos does it take to
change a
lightbulb? A: Approximately 1.000000 with an error of +/- 1
millionth.
- » How do you make a tame duck wild?
Annoy
it.
- » An Englishman,
Frenchman,
Mexican, and Texan were flying across country on a small plane
when
the pilot comes on the loud speaker and says " We're having
mechanical problems and the only way we can make it to the next airport is
for 3 of you to open the door and jump, at least one of you can
survive"
The four open the door and look out below. The Englishman
takes a deep
breath and hollers "God Save The Queen" and
jumps.
The Frenchman gets really inspired and hollers "Viva La France" and
he also jumps.
This really pumps up the Texan so he hollers
"Remember the Alamo" and
he grabs the Mexican and throws him out of
the plane.
- » A student called up his Mom one evening from
his college and asked her for some money, because he was
broke.
His Mother said, "Sure, sweetie. I will send you some money. You also
left your economics book here when you visited two weeks ago. Do
you
want me to send that up too?"
"Uhh, oh yeah, O.K."
responded the kid.
So his Mom wrapped the book along with the checks up
in a package,
kissed Dad goodbye, and went to the post office to
mail the money and the
book. When she gets back, Dad asked, "Well how
much did you give the
boy this time?"
"Oh, I wrote two
checks, one for $20, and the other for $1,000 out to
him."
"That's $1020!!!" yelled Dad, "Are you going crazy???"
"Don't worry
hon," Mom said, kissed Dad on the on top of his bald
head, "I taped
the $20 check to the cover of his book, but I put the
$1,000 one
somewhere between the pages in chapter 15!"
- » What reindeer can jump higher than a
house?
They all can! Houses can't jump!
- » What insect lives on nothing?
A moth,
because it eats holes.
- » What are four hundred rabbits
hopping
backwards?
A receding hare line.
- » Q. What does a woman's asshole do when she is
having an orgasm?
A. He is usually home with the kids!