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Why did the boy stand behind the horse? He thought he might get a kick out of it!

Losowe wpisy

» Did you hear about the boy who had to do a project on trains? He had to keep track of everything!
» Republicans always take the price tag off expensive gifts before wrapping. Democrats also remove price tags off pricey gifts ... and reposition them to make sure they are seen.
» There were three guys in an airplane. One guy dropped a rock, another dropped a brick, and the last dropped a grenade. When they got back on the ground they were walking down the street and they saw a woman crying. Being the gentlemen they are they went up to ask her why she was crying she said "A rock fell from the sky, landed on my cat and now my cat is dead." The men said they were very sorry to here that and walked away. The next house they came across a little further down the road there was another woman crying. Being the gentlemen they are they walk up to her and asked her why she was crying she said "A brick fell from the sky, land- ed on my dog , and now my dog is dead." The men said they were very sorry to hear that and walked away. The next house they came across a little further down the road there was a man laughing his head off. Wondering what was so funny they went up to ask him. After they asked him he replied, "I bent over to get the news paper this morning , I farted and my whole house blew up!"
» What's the best thing to put into a pizza? Your teeth.
» Doctor, Doctor, my little brother thinks he's a computer. Well bring him in so I can cure him. I can't, I need to use him to finish my homework.
» Why did the girl Gorilla, engaged to the invisible man, call off the wedding? Because in the last analysis she just couldn't see it!
» What did the pig call a manuscript? A shoat story.
» Teacher: What can you tell me about the Dead Sea? Pupil: Dead?, I didn't even know he was sick!
» Why is an egg like a young horse? Because it can't be used until it's broken!
» "Did you get your money?" ask the wife of the dentist who had just return from the delinquent patient's home. "Not a cent," growled the dentist, "and worse than that, he insulted me, and gnashed my teeth at me!"
» A stupid bank robber rushed into a bank, pointed two fingers at the clerk and said, "This is a muck up!" "Don't you mean a stick up?" asked the girl. "No," said the robber, "it's a muckup. I've forgotten my gun."
» Yo mama's so stupid that she burned down the house with a CD burner.
» What is the difference between the government and the Mafia? One of them is organized.
» I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. I immediately ran over and said "Stop! Don't do it!" "Why shouldn't I?" he said. I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!" "Like what?" "Well ... are you religious or atheist?" "Religious." "Me too! Are you Christian or Jewish?" "Christian." "Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?" "Protestant." "Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?" "Baptist." "Wow! Me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?" "Baptist Church of God." "Me too! Are you Original Baptist Church of God, or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?" "Reformed Baptist Church of God." "Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915?" "Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915!" To which I said, "Die, heretic scum!" and pushed him off.
» The headwaiter of an elegant restaurant recoiled in disgust as a man in boots, torn jeans and a leather jacket approached him. "Hey, man," he said, "where's the toilet?" "Go down the hall and turn left, "replied the headwaiter. "When you see the sign marked 'Gentlemen; pay no attention to it and go right on in."