Treść
When asked for her occupation, a woman charged
with a
traffic violation said
she was a schoolteacher. The judge rose from the
bench. "Madam, I have
waited years for a schoolteacher to appear
before this court," he
smiled
with delight. "Now sit down at that
table and write 'I will not pass
through
a red light' five
hundred times."
Losowe wpisy
- » What do you call a witch with one leg?
Eileen.
- » Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a
snake about to shed it's skin.
Why don't you go behind the
screen and slip into something more
comfortable then!
- » Q: What word begins with the letter "F"
and ends
in "UCK"?
A: FIRETRUCK.
- » A friend
of mine just got divorced. He and
his ex-wife split the
house. He got the outside.
- » Martin ended a letter to his
dad with this
question, 'Is Washington's picture still on the dollar
bill?'
His Father wrote back, 'Of course it is. Why do you ask?'
Martin
answered, 'Because it's been so long since I've seen
one!'
- » Was the principal's brother really a
missionary?
He certainly was. He gave the people of the Cannibal Islands
their
first taste of Christianity !
- » Q: Why did Clinton choose Canada as the site
for his summit with
Yeltsin?
A: So he could look up some college
buddies who moved up there during
the war.
- » You know the
honeymoon is pretty much
over when you start to go out with the boys on
Wednesday nites, and so
does she.
- » Q: How do you keep a blonde in suspense?
A:
(I'll tell you tomorrow.)
- » Four men were bragging about how smart their
dogs are. The first man was an engineer, the second man was an
Accountant, the third man was a Chemist and the fourth was a Government
Worker.
To show off, the Engineer called to his dog, "T-square, do
your
stuff!". T-square trotted over to a desk, took out some paper
and a pen, and
promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle.
Everyone agreed that was pretty smart. But the Accountant said
his dog
could do better. He called his dog and said, "Slide Rule, do
your
stuff!". Slide Rule went out into the kitchen and returned
with a dozen
cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies
each.
Everyone agreed that was good. But the Chemist said his
dog could do
better. He called his dog and said, "Measure, do your
stuff!". Measure
got up, walked over to the fridge, took out a quart
of milk, got a 10
ounce glass from the cupboard and poured ex
actly 8 ounces without
spilling a drop.
Everyone agreed
that was good. The three men turned to the Government
Worker and
said, "What can your dog do?". The Government Worker called
to his dog
and said, "Coffee Break, do your stuff!". Coffee Break
jumped to
his feet, ate the cookies, drank the milk, dumped on the paper,
sexually assaulted the other three dogs, claimed he injured his back
while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions,
put in for Worker's Compensation and went home on sick leave.
- » What is the
strongest bird ?
A crane !
- » Q. Why is it that many lawyers have
broken
noses?
A. From chasing parked ambulances.
- » What do you call an honest lawyer?
An
oxymoron.
- » Yo mama so old her birth certificate is in
Roman numerals.
- » What's black and white and makes a lot
of
noise?
A zebra with a set of drums.