Treść
The Three
Laws of Secure
Computing
1) Don't buy a computer.
2) If you do buy a computer, don't plug
it in.
3) If you do plug it in, sell it and return to step 1.
Losowe wpisy
- » What do you call a pig in a steel foundry?
A
pig pig.
- » What is a ghost
boxer called?
A
phantomweight.
- » A traveler became lost in the
Sahara desert. Realizing his
only chance for survival was to find
civilization, he began walking.
Time passed, and he became thirsty. More
time passed, and he began feeling
faint. He was on the verge of
passing out when he spied a tent about
500 meters in front of him.
Barely conscious, he reached the tent and
called out,
"Water...".
A bedouin appeared in the tent door and replied sympathetically, "I
am
sorry, sir, but I have no water. However, would you like to buy
a
tie?" With this, he brandished a collection of exquisite silken
neckwear.
"You fool," gasped the man. "I'm dying! I need
water!"
"Well, sir," replied the bedouin, "If you really need water, there
is a tent about two kilometers south of here where you can get
some."
Without knowing how, the man summoned sufficient strength to
drag his
parched body the distance to the second tent. With his
last ounce of
strength he tugged at the door of the tent and
collapsed.
Another bedouin, dressed in a costly tuxedo, appeared at
the door and
enquired, "May I help you sir?"
"Water..." was the
feeble reply.
"Oh, sir," replied the bedouin, "I'm sorry, but you
can't come in
here without a tie!"
- » Knock Knock
Who's there !
Bea
!
Bea who ?
Beacause I'm worth it !
- » Three
patients in a mental
institution prepare for an examination given by the
head psychiatrist. If
the patients pass the exam, they will be free to
leave the hospital.
However, if they fail, the institution will detain
them for five
years.
The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving
board
looking over an empty swimming pool, and asks the first
patient to jump.
The first patient jumps head first into the pool and
breaks both arms.
Then the second patient jumps and breaks both
legs.
The third patient looks over the side and refuses to jump.
"Congratulations! You're a free man. Just tell me why didn't you
jump?" asked
the doctor.
To which the third patient
answered, "Well Doc, I can't swim!"
- » Knock Knock
Who's there !
Alex
!
Alex who ?
Alex Plain later !
- » Q: What do you call a Mexican with a rubber
toe?
A: Roberto.
- » While practicing autorotations during a
military night training exercise a Huey Cobra screwed up the landing and
landed on the tail rotor. The landing was so hard that it broke off
the
tail boom. However, the chopper fortunately remained upright on
its
skids, sliding down the runway doing 360s.
As the Cobra
slid past the tower, trailing a brilliant shower of
sparks, this
was the radio exchange that took place...
Tower: "Sir, do you
need any assistance?"
Cobra: "I don't know Tower, we ain't done
crashin'
yet."
- » Woman: Officer you must help. I've just
lost my wig.
Police officer: Certainly, ma'am, we'll comb the
area.
- » Two skunks were being chased by a
bear. As the bear got closer, one of the skunks said "Whatever shall we
do?"
"Let us spray!" replied the other.
- » "Hey, Pop," pleaded Angelo, "can I go to the zoo
to see the monkeys?"
"What's the matter with you?" asked his
father.
"Why would you wanna go see the monkeys when your Aunt
Maud is
here?"
- » Q: Why can't the
bankrupt cowboy
complain?
A: He has got no beef.
- » Fred keeps telling me that he's going to marry
the most
beautiful girl in the world.
Oh, what a shame! And
you've been engaged for such a long time!
- » Who are the hamburgers favourite
people?
Vegetarians!
- » How do thunderstorms invest their
money?
-In a combination of liquid assets and frozen assets