Treść
Q: What do you get when you cross a Pentium PC
with a research grant?
A: A mad scientist.
Losowe wpisy
- » Knock Knock
Who's there !
Barber
!
Barber who ?
Barberd wire !
- » Dad: Don't be
selfish. Let
your brother use the sled half the time.
Son: I do, Dad. I use it going
down the hill and he gets to use it
coming up!
- » Who is never hungry at Christmas ?
The
turkey - he's always stuffed !
- » What is a cow's
favourite TV show ?
Dr
Moo !
- » Q: What do
you do with percussionists that
lose one of their drumsticks?
A: Stick them up front of the group and
tell them to wave their
arms!
- » Q: What do men and sperm
have in
common?
A:They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human
being.
- » Why were the hens lying on their backs
with
their legs in the air ?
Because eggs were going up !
- » A cop is staking out a bar
for drunk
drivers. At closing time, he sees a guy stumble out of the
bar, trip on
the curb, and fumble for his keys for five minutes.
When he finally gets in, it takes him another five minutes to get the
key in the ignition. Meanwhile, everybody else leaves the bar and
drives
off.
When he finally pulls away, the cop is waiting
for him, pulls him over,
and gives him a Breathalyzer test. The test
shows he has a blood
alcohol level of 0.0.
The cop says,
'How is this possible?' The guy says,'Tonight I'm the
designated
decoy.'
- » What do you call a horse wearing Venetian
blinds?
A zebra!
- » A motorist was mailed a picture of his car
speeding through
an automated radar.
A $40 speeding ticket was
included.
Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of
$40.
The police responded with another mailed photo -- of
handcuffs.
- » What's got six legs and can fly long distances ?
Three swallows !
- » There was once a young man who,
in his
youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.
When asked to
define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that
the whole world
will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly
emotional
level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and
anger!"
He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.
- » Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy
days?
Because then the children have to play inside.
- » Q: How does Bill Clinton say "I'm about to
hurt you"?
A: "Trust me."
- » Diner:
Waitress, the portions are getting
smaller.
Waiter: It's just an optical illusion. It's just that the
restaurant
has been enlarged.