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Men are like mini skirts.
If you're not
careful, they'll creep up your legs.
Losowe wpisy
- » Q: Did you know they are taking out all the
K-Marts in Afghanistan?
A: They are putting in TARGETS!!!
- » Knock Knock
Who's there !
Cameron
!
Cameron who ?
Cameron film are needed to take pictures !
- » Two blondes are on
opposite sides of a
lake.
One blonde yells to the other, "How do you get to the other
side?"
"You are on the other side," the other blonde yells
back.
- » Teacher: Can anyone tell me how many seconds
there are in a year ?
Pupil: 12 - 2nd January, 2nd February...!
- » Michael: It's hard for my
sister to eat.
Maureen: Why ?
Michael: She can't bear to stop
talking.
- » What would you hear at a cow concert?
Moo-sic!
- » What has
eight legs and an IQ of
forty? Four guys watching a baseball
game.
- » Why was the ghost of Anne Boleyn always
running after the ghost of Henry VIII ?
She was trying to get ahead !
- » Why are vampire families so close?
Because
blood is thicker than water.
- » There is
a new Barbie doll on the
market - Mortal Kombat Barbie ...includes more
blood than you can even
imagine
- » Reporter: To
what do you attribute your
old age?
Old Man: To the fact that I was born in 1890.
- » A young man called his mother and announced
excitedly that he had just met the woman of his dreams.
"Now what
should I do?"
His mother has an idea.
"Why don't you send her
flowers, and on the card invite her to your
apartment for a home
cooked meal?"
He thought this was a great strategy, and a week later
the woman came
to dinner.
His mother called the next day to see
how things had gone.
" I was humiliated," he groaned. "She insisted
on washing the
dishes."
" What's wrong with that?" asked his
mother.
" We hadn't started eating yet."
- » God is sitting up in his ivory
tower,
he's had enough of the pressures and stresses of being the
number
one, so he's decided to go on holiday. He calls all his super-being
mates up and they pop around to discuss a few suggestions. "What about
Mars," says one of them. "Nah I went there 15,000 years ago," says
God, "it was shit, no atmosphere and too dusty." "What about
Pluto,"
suggests another. "Nah I went there about 10,000 years ago," says
God. "Fucking freezing it was too." "What about Mercury," says
another. "It's nice but I went there about 5,000 years ago, I nearly
burnt
me bollox off it was that hot, never again," says God. "What
about
Earth then," suggests another. "You must be joking," says God,
"I went
there about 2,000 years ago, knocked up some Jewish bird,
and they're
still bloody talking about it."
- » Teacher: What's the longest word in the
English
language ?
Pupil: Smiles - because there is a mile between the
first and last
letters
- » Do fish get thirsty?