
Treść
What did one mouse say to the other
mouse?
I get a click out of you.
Losowe wpisy
- » A man being mugged by two thugs put up a
tremendous fight! Finally, the thugs subdued him and took his wallet. Upon
finding only two dollars in the wallet, the surprised thug said
"Why did
you put up such a fight?" To which the man promptly replied
"I was
afraid that you would find the $200 hidden in my shoe!"
- » How do we know that Apes are
like fish
after a rainstorm?
They'll both bite at anything!
- » What letter should you avoid?
The letter A
because it makes men mean.
- » Q: Why do Southern guys go
to family
reunions?
A: To meet chicks.
- » Q: Have you seen the
polish mine
detector.
A1: Put you fingers in your ears and start stamping the ground with
your foot.
- » A
trooper asks a sergeant:
- Is it
true that man descended from a monkey?
- Yes, troopers possibly
were. But not sergeants.
- » The little church in the suburbs suddenly
stopped buying from its
regular office supply dealer. So, the dealer
telephoned Deacon Brown to
ask why.
"I'll tell you why,"
shouted Deacon Brown. "Our church ordered some
pencils from you to be
used in the pews for visitors to register."
"Well, interrupted
the dealer, "didn't you receive them yet?"
"Oh, we received them
all right," replied Deacon Brown.
"However, you sent us some
golf pencils...each stamped with the words,
`Play Golf Next
Sunday.'"
- » Sonny: I can't sleep. What should I
do?
Counselor: Lie near the edge of the bed. That way you'll be sure to
drop
off!
- » QUESTION: Do you know what
is honeymoon?
ANSWER: A short period of doting between dating and
debting.
- » A logger is driving down the highway and
sees two botanists
trying to measure the height of a small pine tree.
Their tape measure is
not long enough so one botanist stands on the
shoulders of the other
and attempts to extend the tape to the tree
top but it is not long
enough. While trying, he falls to the
ground. They attempt this about five
times and each time the top botanist
falls. The logger is laughing but
feels sorry for the pair, gets
out of his truck, takes out an electric
saw and cuts down the tree.
The botanists are looking at him like he is
crazy. He then takes a
tape measure and measures the tree. "OK guys,
the tree is 14' 6."
He then gets in his truck and drives away. The two
botanists are
stunned and speechless. Finally one says to the other
,"How do you
like that, we are trying to measure the height of the tree
and that
stupid jerk measures the width."
- » When can you dive in a swimming pool and
not
get your hair wet ?
When your bald !
- » What kind of umbrella does the Queen of
England carry on a
rainy day?
A wet one.
- » An applicant was being interviewed for
admission
to a prominent medical school. "Tell me," inquired the
interviewer,
"where do you expect to be ten years from now?"
"Well,
let's see," replied the student. "It's Wednesday afternoon.
I guess
I'll be on the golf course by now."
- » How can you tell a dog from a tomato?
The
tomato is red.
- » Three students from Michigan State, the
University of Kentucky and Texas A & M on summer vacation in France were
caught
smuggling cocaine and sentenced to death by guillotine. The
judge
turned to the boy from Michigan and asked, "Do you have any
final words,
son?"
"Yeah, drop dead!" snapped the Wolverine.
Hearing this, the judge signaled for the sentence to be carried
out.
The executioner pulled the lever, and as the crowd gaped in
astonishment,
the giant blade came to a screeching halt three inches
from the
victim's throat.
"It's God's will! Let him go!"
cried the judge.
Next the fella from U. of Kentucky was put on
the block, and the judge
asked again, "And what are your final
remarks, my boy?"
"Go to hell!" shouted the student, and the judge
signaled. The
razor-sharp blade fell and miraculously stopped just
a quarter inch from the
condemned boy's neck. "It's the wi
ll of God!" exclaimed the judge.
"Set him free!"
Finally
the Texan was put into position. "Before you're beheaded,"
said the
judge, "do you have any last words?"
"Yeh!" replied the Aggie.
"If y'all will just put a little more
grease on them grooves, the
blade'll come down a whole lot
easier!"