Treść
First girl: I spend hours in front of the mirror
admiring
my beauty. Do you think that's vanity?
Second girl:
No, it's imagination.
Losowe wpisy
- » Q: How can you tell if a blonde works in an
office?
A: A bed in the stockroom and huge smiles on all the
bosses'
faces.
- » Why do dogs turn around three
times before
lying down?
One good turn deserves another.
- » Two tourists were driving through
Louisiana. As
they were approaching Natchitoches, they started
arguing about the
pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth
until they stopped
for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one
tourist asked the employee,
"Before we order, could you please settle
an argument for us? Would
you please pronounce where we are... very
slowly?"
The girl leaned over the counter and said, "Burrrrrrrr,
gerrrrrrr,
Kiiiiing."
- » What's a moo hoo for a tug-of-war between two
longhorns?
A bull pull!
- » A man goes skydiving for the first time. After
listening to the instructor for
what seems like days, he is ready
to go. Excited, he jumps out of the
airplane.
About five seconds
later, he pulls the ripcord. Nothing happens. He
tries
again.
Still nothing. He starts to panic, but remembers his back-up chute. He
pulls
that cord. Nothing happens. He frantically begins pulling
both cords,
but to no
avail.
Suddenly, he looks down and he
can't believe his eyes. Another man is
in the air
with him, but
this guy is going *up*! Just as the other guy passes by,
the
skydiver - by this time scared out of his wits - yells, "Hey, do you
know
anything about skydiving?"
The other guy yells back,
"Fuck no! Do you know anything about
lighting gas
stoves?"
- » What kind of leash should you buy for a Chihuahua?
A short one!
- » Q: How many republicans does
it take to
raise your taxes?
A: None. The democrats do that.
- » What happened when the cannibal got a
religion?
He only ate Catholics on Fridays!
- » A door-to-door vacuum cleaner salesman
manages
to bull his way into a woman's home in a rural
area.
"This machine is the best ever" he exclaims, whilst pouring a bag of
dirt over the lounge floor.
The woman says she's really worried
it may not all come off, so the
salesman says, "If this machine
doesn't remove all the dust completely,
I'll lick it off
myself."
"Do you want ketchup on it?" she says, "we're not connected for
electricity yet!"
- » Why didn't anyone take the school bus to
school?
I wouldn't fit through the door.
- » Knock Knock
Who's there !
Beef !
Beef
who ?
Beef fair now !
- » What did the boy fish say to his girlfriend ?
'Your plaice or mine' !
- » There were three guys in a bar. Two are
talking
about the amount of control they have over their wives. The
third remains
silent. After a while, one of the first two turned to the
third and sez
"Well... What about you, what sort of control do you
have over your
wife ?" "Well, on our honeymoon, I made damn sure my
wife came to me on
her hands and knees." he bragged and took
another sip of beer.
His friends were amazed ! "What happened then ?"
they asked, almost
in
unison.
"Well, then she said, 'Get
the hell out from under that bed and fight
like a man !' " he
admitted.
- » What do you get if you cross a frog and a dog ?
A croaker spaniel !
- » What do you get when you cross a pig with a billy
goat?
A crashing bore.