Treść
Mommy monster:
Don't eat that uranium.
Little monster: Why not?
Mommy monster: You'll get
atomic-ache.
Losowe wpisy
- » Mother: Jared, get your little
sister's hat out of that
puddle.
Jared: I can't mum, she's got it
strapped too tight under her
chin!
- » Q: What does a 75-year-old woman
have
between her breasts that a 25-year-old doesn't?
A: Her navel.
- » Knock Knock
Who's there !
Bark
!
Bark who ?
Bark you car on the drive !
- » What do you get if you cross a dog and a
cheetah ?
A dog that chases cars - and catches them !
- » Knock Knock
Who's there !
Beef !
Beef
who ?
Beef fair now !
- » Why do you never see zebras or
antelopes at Victoria
Station ?
Because it's a 'mane-lion' station
!
- » And Jesus said unto his disciples,
"Whom
do men say
that I am?"
And His disciples answered unto Him,
"Master,
thou art the supreme eschatological manifestation
of
omnipotent ecclesiastical authority, the absolute,
divine,
sacerdotal monarch."
And Jesus said, "What?"
- » What have men and spray paint in common?
One
squeeze and they're all over you.
- » What's fat and jolly and runs on eight
wheels?
Father Christmas on roller skates!
- » Why is
the monsters' football pitch
wet?
Because the players keep dribbling on it.
- » Q: What is the definition
of a major
seventh?
A: A violist playing octaves.
- » Mum, Mum,
Dad's broken my
computer!
How did he do that?
I dropped it on his head.
- » A young naval student
was being put
through the paces by an old sea captain. "What would you
do if a sudden
storm sprang up on the starboard?" asked the captain.
"Throw out
an anchor, sir." replied the naval student.
"What would you do
if another storm sprang up aft?" asked the
captain.
"Throw
out another anchor, sir." answered the student.
"And if another
terrific storm sprang up forward, what would you do?"
asked the
captain.
"Throw out another anchor." replied the
student.
"Hold on," said the Captain. "Where are you getting all your anchors
from?"
The naval student replied, "From the same place you're
getting all of
your storms, sir."
- » A man walks into a bar on
the top floor of a
skyscraper. He sits down and orders a beer. After
taking a drink he sees
the guy next to him go over to the window
and jump out!
"Holy cow! Did you see that!? That guy just jumped out
the window!"
The bartender does nothing.
So the man
takes another sip. A minute later the same guy walks in,
orders
another drink, chugs it, and jumps out the window again.
"Jesus! He
just jumped again!"
The bartender ignores the man.
So
the man sits puzzled. The guy comes back into the bar, and orders
another drink.
"How did you survive that jump?".."I ordered a
floatie drink, if you
drink it in a certain amount of time, you can
float."
So the guy quickly orders a 'floatie' drink. He takes it
from the
bartender, and chugs it. He then jumps out the window
and...SPLAT! Right
on the sidewalk!
The Bartender then say
s, "You know, Superman...you can be a real jerk
when you're
drunk."
- » The Millionaire by Ivor Fortune