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Q: What is the difference between a violist and a terrorist? A: Terrorists have sympathizers.

Losowe wpisy

» What's a vampire's favorite hobby? In-grave-ing.
» Knock Knock Who's there ! Abel ! Abel who ? Abel to see you, ha, ha!
» Q: How many retarded Italian gardeners does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: One, but don't expect results.
» Q: Whats the difference between a 90s woman and a - computer? A: A 90s woman won't accept a three-and-a-half-inch floppy.
» What do you get if you cross a cat with a bottle of vinegar ? A sourpuss !
» Why was the robber so secure? He was a safe robber.
» What happens if a big hairy monster sits in front of you at the movie theater? You miss most of the film.
» Q: What do cats like to eat on a hot day? - A: Mice cream
» Taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. After an hour-long wait, it finally took off. A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What was the problem?" "The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," explained the flight attendant, "and it took us a while to find a new pilot."
» Sid and Al were sitting in a Chinese restaurant. "Sid," asked Al, "are there any Jews in China?" "I don't know," Sid replied. "Why don't we ask the waiter?" When the waiter came by, Al asked him, "Are there any Chinese Jews?" "I don't know sir, let me ask," the waiter replied, and he went into the kitchen. He returned in a few minutes and said, "No, sir. No, Chinese Jews." "Are you sure?" Al asked. "I will check again, sir," the waiter replied and went back to the kitchen. While he was still gone, Sid said, "I cannot believe there are no Jews in China. Our people are scattered everywhere." When the waiter returned he said, "Sir, no Chinese Jews." "Are you really sure?" Al asked again. "I cannot believe there are no Chinese Jews." "Sir, I ask everyone," the waiter replied exasperated. "We have Orange Jews, Prune Jews, Tomato Jews and Grape Jews, but we have no Chin ese Jews."
» Why did the idiot plant nickels in his garden? He wanted to raise some hard cash.
» Alsation: Was your master playing catch with you? Chihuahua: No, I was playing throw with her!
» What happens if you see twin witches? You won't be able to tell witch witch is witch.
» During the Mexican American War, an intense long standoff occurred along the front. For days and days neither side made any advances. Finally, an American general had a bright idea. He aimed his rifle to the Mexican trenches and yelled, "Hey, Juan!" A soldier jumped up and replied, "What?" The general shot him dead. This continued for three days. A Mexican general decided that two could play this game and decided to try it out. He called out, "Hey, John!" An American replied, "John isn't here. Is that you Juan?" The Mexican general stood up, "Yeah" . . .
» Rabbit: I got kicked out of my cage for not paying the rent. My wife walked out and took our twenty-nine bunnies with her. I'm all out of carrots. What should I do? Friend: Don't worry; be hoppy!