a
b
c
d
e
f
g
h
i
j
k
l
m
n
o
p
r
s
t
u
v
w
x
y
z

Menu

Treść

Q: What is the difference between a Wagnerian soprano and a Wagnerian Tenor? A: About 10 pounds.

Losowe wpisy

» Do they really serve burgers in Transylvania? Very rare-ly.
» Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop? He called it "Ham Hocks".
» What does the 1286BC incribed on the mummy's tomb indicate ? The registration of the car that ran him over !
» What is a moo hoo for a cow fight? A cattle battle!
» Two accountants are in a bank, when armed robbers burst in. While several of the robbers take the money from the tellers, others line the customers, including the accountants, up against a wall, and proceed to take their wallets, watches, etc. While this is going on accountant number one jams something in accountant number two's hand. Without looking down, accountant number two whispers, "What is this?" to which accountant number one replies, "it's that $50 I owe you."
» Where do you put letters to boys? In a mail (male) box.
» While crossing the US-Mexican border on his bicycle, the man was stopped by a guard who pointed to two sacks the man had on his shoulders. "What's in the bags?", asked the guard. "Sand," said the cyclist. "Get them off - we'll take a look," said the guard. The Cyclist did as he was told, emptied the bags, and proving they contained nothing but sand, reloaded the bags, put them on his shoulders and continued across the border. Two weeks later, the same thing happened. Again the guard demanded to see the two bags, which again contained nothing but sand. This went on every week for six months, until one day the cyclist with the sand bags failed to appear. A few days later, the guard happened to meet the cyclist downtown. "Say friend, you sure had us crazy", said the guard. "We knew you were smuggling something across the border. I won't say a word - but what is it you were smu ggling?" "Bicycles!"
» Father O'Mally has been preaching at his church in Ireland for so long, that he decides to take a vacation. He has never been married and he is curious as to what an American endures in everyday life. So, he decides to go to the States before it is too late. He hops on the plane bound for Nevada. He arrives in the Airport in Las Vegas. As he is exiting the plane, someone in the airport runs up to him and exclaims, "Elvis! Oh my God! It's Elvis! I knew you weren't dead Elvis! How have you been?" Father looks at her and says, "Get outta me face. Can't you see I'm not Elvis? I don't look a thing like Elvis." The father moves on to his cab waiting outside. He hops in his cab and he's a little upset so he tells the cabby, "Take me to my hotel and step on it." The cabby turns and says, "Sure thing sir - Oh my God! It's Elvis! I knew you weren't dead! I'm your number one fan! It's so great to see you!" "Shut up, you imbecile. I'm not Elvis! Now turn around and drive!" So, the cabby speeds up to the hotel. Father O'Malley gets his things and walks up to the hotel check-in counter. "Oh my God! Oh my God! It's you!" screams the hotel clerk. "You're back Elvis! I knew this day would happen. We saved everything just the way you like it! Free cheeseburgers, peanut butter and banana fried sandwiches, masseurs, and a full liquor bar! I'm so glad you're back!" Father O'Malley looks at the hotel clerk and says, "Thank you... Thank you very much!"
» Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days? Because then the children have to play inside.
» Police officer: And what do you think you are doing on this road, Dracula? Dracula: Looking for the main artery, officer.
» Yo mama is so ugly the government moved halloween to her birthday.
» Not that my wife's the jealous type or anything, but one day at work, I had taken this temp who was filling in for my secretary to lunch in gratitude for an outstanding job on a very difficult project. As luck would have it, there was my wife waiting in the office for my return. The temp, who was truly a ravishing beauty said, "Oh, Mrs. Moore, I'm so happy to meet you. I'm your husband's new secretary." Within a single heart beat my wife quietly intoned, "OH ? Really ? Were you ???"
» Why did the bareback performer ride his horse? Because it got too heavy to carry.
» Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH? A: A blonde going through a flashing red light.
» Q: How is a man like a snowstorm? A: You never know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get, or how long it will last.