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Srodek
Music jokes
Q: How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb? A: Seven; one to change and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
Podobne wpisy
Salesmen jokes - How can you tell when a salesperson is lying? His lips are moving.
Political jokes - Q: Why are there more jokes about Waco than Jonestown? A: The punch lines were too long in Jonestown.
Knock Knock jokes - Knock Knock Who's there ! Argo ! Argo who ? Argo down to the beach for my holidays
Insect jokes - How do fireflies start a race? Ready, steady, glow!
King Kong jokes - If King Kong came to England why would he live in the Tower of London? Because he's a beef-eater.
Book title jokes - How to Feed Elephants by P. Nutts
Computer jokes - Helpline? I've just pushed a piece of bacon into my disk drive! Has the computer stopped working? No, but there's a lot of crackling.
Ethnic jokes - The Americans and Russians at the height of the arms race realized that if they continued in the usual manner they were going to blow up the whole world. One day they sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight. They'd have five years to breed the best fighting dog in the world and whichever side's dog won would be entitled to dominate the world. The losing side would have to lay down its arms. The Russians found the biggest meanest Doberman and Rottweiler dogs in the world and bred them with the biggest meanest Siberian wolves. They selected only the biggest and strongest puppy from each litter, killed his siblings, and gave him all the milk. The used steroids and trainers and after five years came up with the biggest meanest dog the world had ever seen. Its cage needed steel bars that were five inches thick and nobody could get near it. "When the day came for th e fight, the Americans showed up with a strange animal. It was a nine foot long Dachshund. Everyone felt sorry for the Americans because they knew there was no way that this dog could possibly last ten seconds with the Russian dog. "When the cages were opened up, the Dachshund came out and wrapped itself around the outside of the ring. It had the Russian dog almost completely surrounded. When the Russian dog leaned over to bite the Dachshund's neck, the Dachshund leaned up and consumed the Russian dog in one bite. There was nothing left at all of the Russian dog. The Russians came up to the Americans shaking their heads in disbelief. `We don't understand how this could have happened. We had our best people working for five years with the meanest Doberman and Rottweiler dogs in the world and the biggest meanest Siberian wolves." "That's nothing", an American replied. "We had our best plastic surgeons worki ng for five years trying to make an alligator look like a Dachshund.'"
Mental health jokes - How do you tell the difference between the staff and the inmates at a psychiatric hospital? The patients get better and leave. Not everyone of the patients thinks he is God. The staff have the keys!
Dirty jokes - Q: Why did the blonde guy ask his girlfriend to squeeze his left testicle? A: Because the road sign said 'Squeeze Left.'
Teeth jokes - What did the Abominable Snowman do after he had had his teeth pulled out? He ate the dentist.
Dirty jokes - Q: What does a 75-year-old woman have between her breasts that a 25-year-old doesn't? A: Her navel.
Internet jokes - How did the flea learn to use the internet? He had to start from scratch.
Rabbit jokes - What's a rabbits' favorite song? "Hoppy Birthday to You."
Travel and tourist jokes - This woman is visiting in Israel and notices that her little travel alarm needs a battery. She looks for a watch repair shop and while she doesn't read Hebrew she finally sees a shop with clocks and watches in the window. She goes in and hands the man her clock. The man says, "Madam, I don't repair clocks. I am a Mohel. I do circumcisions." She says, "Why all the clocks in the window?" And he says, "And what should I have in my window?"
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