Treść
Q: How many
bass players does it take to
change a light bulb?
A: Six. One to change it, five to fight off the
lead guitarists who are
hogging the light.
Losowe wpisy
- » A pair of tourists were out in the
fields
when they discovered an abandoned well near an old farm
house. Of course
they're curious so they drop a small stone into the
well, but they
never hear it hit bottom. They search and find a
larger rock and drop it
into the well but once again hear nothing. They
decide they need
something larger and search the farm yard for a
larger object. After much
struggle, they manage to drag a large
railroad tie to the edge of the well
and drop it over the
edge.
After several seconds, a goat tears across the yard and without any
hesitation, dives head first into the open hole. The two tourists stand
in
amazement. About then a farmer appears and tells them he is
looking for
a lost goat. The tourists tell the farmer about the goat
diving into
the well.
"That couldn't be my goat", the farmer
replies, "My goat was
grazing in the field roped to a railroa
d tie!"
- » How does a mama pig put her piglets to sleep?
She reads them pig tales.
- » Have you seen www.stickytape.com?
Yes, I
can't tear myself away.
- » There was once a puppy called
May
who loved to pick quarrels with animals who were bigger than she
was. One day she argued with a lion. The next day was the first of June.
Why ? Because that was the end of May!
- » What kind of phone makes music?
A
saxophone.
- » What happened when the man asked the salesman
for a good belt?
"O.K., you asked for it," the salesman said as
he gave him a good
belt.
- » If an elephant is the
symbol of the Republican
Party and a donkey is the symbol of the
Democratic Party, what is a
pig the symbol of?
Any party where there's lots of food.
- » What do you call a telephone call from
one vicar to another ?
A parson to parson call !
- » Q: How did bulldogs get such flat
noses? - A:
From chasing cars.
- » A local United Way office realized that it had
never
received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer.
The person
in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to
contribute.
"Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at
least $500,000,
you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to
give back to the
community in some way?" The lawyer mulled this over
for a moment and
replied, "First, did your research also show that
my mother is dying
after a long illness, and has medical bills that
are several times her
annual income?" Embarrassed, the United Way rep
mumbled, "Um...no."
"-or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is
blind and confined to a
wheelchair?" The stricken United Way rep began
to stammer out an
apology but was interrupted, "-or that my
sister's husband died in a
traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in
indignation,
"leaving
her penniless with three children?"
The humiliated United Way rep,
completely beaten, said simply, "I
had no idea..." On a roll, the
lawyer cut him off once again: "-so
if I don't give any money to
them,
why should I give any to
you?"
- » Knock Knock
Who's there !
Army Ant
!
Army Ant who ?
Army Ants coming for tea then ?
- » Knock Knock
Who's there !
Cass
!
Cass who ?
Cass more flies with honey than vinegar !
- » Mrs. Smith: Help me, doctor! My
son, John, swallowed the can opener!
Doctor: Don't panic. He'll
be alright.
Mrs. Smith: But how do I open the can of beans?! The
toast is getting
cold!
- » Q: How can you tell a blonde is being
unfaithful?
A: Everybody in the neighborhood is going to the pharmacy for
penicillin.
- » Q: How is Clinton's
health care reform a
lot like his haircut?
A: It is a lot more expensive than it
looks.