Treść
A reporter was interviewing a 104 year-old
woman: "And what
do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the
reporter asked.
She simply replied, "No peer pressure."
Losowe wpisy
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his money in the
freezer?
A:('He wanted cold hard cash!')
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accountant?
When he realises he doesn't have the charisma to succeed
as an
undertaker.
- » I wouldn't say that Christmas gnomes are
cross-eyed,
but when they cry the tears run down their back!
- » While practicing autorotations during a
military night training exercise a Huey Cobra screwed up the landing and
landed on the tail rotor. The landing was so hard that it broke off
the
tail boom. However, the chopper fortunately remained upright on
its
skids, sliding down the runway doing 360s.
As the Cobra
slid past the tower, trailing a brilliant shower of
sparks, this
was the radio exchange that took place...
Tower: "Sir, do you
need any assistance?"
Cobra: "I don't know Tower, we ain't done
crashin'
yet."
- » Two aliens landed their ship on a golf course
and
watched a young man golfing. First he hit it into the high grass,
mumbling and cursing he retrieved his ball. Then he hit it into the
sand
bunker shouting curse words he retrieved the ball. Next he hit
a perfect
hole in one, then the first alien said to the second,
"Uh-oh cover your
ears he's going to be really mad now"!
- » Q: How many Honor Guards does it take to
screw in a light bulb?
A: 22, one to screw it in, 21 to shoot the
bulb.
- » Why did the
actor fire his Gorilla
agent?
The big Ape kept wanting to take more than a 10% bite!
- » Waiter, what is this hare doing in my
salad?
I believe he's eating your lettuce.
- » Two
men are talking. The first sez, "I got
married because I was tired
of eating out, cleaning the house, doing
the laundry and wearing
shabby clothes."
"Amazing," said the
second, "I just got divorced for the very same
reasons."
- » What do you get when you
cross a Texas
Aggie with an ape?
A retarded ape.
- » Q. How is playing a bagpipe like throwing a
javelin
blindfolded?
A. You don't have to be very good to get
people's attention.
- » A
biologist phones his wife from his
office and says, "Honey, something has
just come up, I realize its not
my field season, but I have to visit my
field site for a week. So,
would you pack my clothes, my field
equipment and my blue silk
pajamas? I'll be home in 1 hour to pick them up."
A week later he
returned. "Did you have a good trip, dear?" his wife
asked.
"Oh, it
was just a typical field trip, you know, work work work," he
exclaimed, and added "But you forgot to pack my blue silk pajamas."
"No I
didn't," she replied. "I put them in the box of field
equipment!"
- » Two friends: - I heard that you have
founded
a musical band.
- Yes, it is a quartet.
- How many are you?
-
We are three.
- Three?
- Me and my brother.
- You have a
brother?
- No, why do you ask?
- » Yo mama so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.
- » What is the difference between a dancer and a
duck?
One goes quick on her beautiful legs, the other goes quack on
her
beautiful legs.