Treść
What do you call an aardvark outside
Buckingham Palace?
A guardvark!
Losowe wpisy
- » Why did God invent shopping carts?
To teach
women how to walk on their hind legs.
- » An 80 year
old couple were having problems
remembering things, so they decided to
go to their doctor to get
checked out to make sure nothing was wrong
with them. When they
arrived at the doctor's, they explained to the
doctor about the
problems they were having with their memory.
After checking the couple
out, the doctor tells them that they were
physically okay but might
want to start writing things down and make notes
to help them
remember things. The couple thanked the doctor and left.
Later that
night while watching TV, the old man got up from his chair
and his
wife asks, "Where are you going?"
He replies, "To the kitchen."
She asks, "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?"
He
replies, "Sure."
She then asks him, "Don't you think you should
write it down so you
can remember it?"
He says, "No, I can
remember that."
She then says, "Well, I also would like
some strawberries on top. You
had better write that down cause I
know you'll forget that."
He says, "I can remember that, you
want a bowl of ice cream with
strawberries."
She replies,
"Well, I also would like whip cream on top. I know you
will forget
that so you better write it down."
With irritation in his voice,
he says, "I don't need to write that
down, I can remember that." He
then fumes into the kitchen.
After about 20 minutes he returns
from the kitchen and hands her a
plate of bacon and eggs.
She stares at the plate for a moment and says, "You forgot my
toast."
- » Can you spell soft and slow with two
letters?
EZ.
- » Doctor, Doctor I
think I'm a
moth
Get out of the way, your in my light!
- » What do you call an intelligent man in
America?
A tourist.
- » What's a mouse's least favorite record ?
What's up Pussycat !
- » What happened
when the icicle landed on
the sowmman's head?
It knocked him cold.
- » How do you make gold soup?
Put 14 carrots in
it.
- » Waiter: Why are you taking so long
to
order?
Diner: I can't decide whether I want heartburn or nausea.
- » What do you call a deaf fishing boat
captain?
Anything you like, he can't hear you.
- » There was this man who was in a
horrible
accident, and was injured. But
the only permanent damage he suffered
was the amputation of both of his
ears. As a result of this
'unusual' handicap, he was very
self-conscious
about his having no
ears.
Because of the accident, he received a large sum of money
from the
insurance company. It was always his dream to own his own
business, so
he
decided with all this money he had, he now had
the means to own a
business. So he went out and purchased a small,
but expanding computer
firm. But he realized that he had no
business knowledge at all, so he
decided that he would have to hire
someone to run the business. He
picked
out three top candidates, and
interviewed each of them. The first
interview went really well. He
really liked this guy. His last question
for this first candidate
was, 'Do you notice anything unusual about
me?'
The guy s
aid, 'Now that you mention it, you have no ears.' The man
got
really upset and threw the guy out. The second interview went even
better
than the first. This candidate was much better than the
first. Again,
to
conclude the interview, the man asked the same
question again, 'Do you
notice anything unusual about me?' This
guy also noticed, 'Yes, you
have
no ears.' The man was really
upset again, and threw this second
candidate
out. Then he had
the third interview.. The third candidate was even
better
than
the second, the best out of all of them. Almost certain that he
wanted to hire this guy, the man once again asked, 'Do you notice
anything
unusual about me?' The guy replied 'Yeah, you're wearing
contact
lenses.'
Surprised, the man then asked, 'Wow! That's
quite perceptive of you!
How
could you tell?' The guy burst out
laughing and said, 'Well, You
can't
wear glasses if you d
on't have any ears!'
- » First Caribou:
What well-known cartoon
character do moths like a hole lot?
Second Caribou: Micky Moth!
- » When a teacher closes his eyes, why should it
remind him of an empty classroom?
Because there are no pupils to
see!
- » What two members of the cow family go everywhere
with you?
Your calves!
- » How do we know that insects are so clever
?
Because they always know when your eating outside !