Treść
How do you get four old ladies to say the F
word?
Have the fifth one say.... BINGO!
Losowe wpisy
- » Taxiing
down the tarmac, the jetliner
abruptly stopped, turned around and
returned to the gate. After an
hour-long wait, it finally took off. A
concerned passenger asked the
flight attendant, "What was the
problem?" "The pilot was bothered by a
noise he heard in the
engine,"
explained the flight attendant,
"and it took us a while to find a new
pilot."
- » Doctor, Doctor I snore so loud I
keep myself awake
Sleep in another room then!
- » Q. How did a blind woman drive herself
crazy?
A. Trying to read a stucco wall.
- » Waiter, waiter! What's this creepy crawly
thing doing in my dinner?
Oh, that one ? he comes here every
night.
- » Bill Clinton is visiting a school. In one
class, he asks the students if anyone can give him an example of a
"tragedy".
One little boy stands up and offers "If my best
friend who lives next
door was playing in the street when a car came
along and killed him,
that would be a tragedy."
"No," Clinton
says, "That would be an ACCIDENT."
A girl raises her
hand. "If a school bus carrying fifty children drove
off a cliff,
killing everyone involved... that would be a tragedy."
"I'm afraid
not," explains Clinton. "That is what we would call a
GREAT
LOSS."
The room is silent; none of the other children volunteer.
"What?" asks Clinton, "Isn't there any one here who
can give me an
example of a tragedy?"
Finally, a boy
in the back raises his hand. In a timid voice, he says:
"If an
airplane carrying Bill & Hillary Clinton were blown up by a
bomb, T
HAT would be tragedy."
"Wonderful!" Clinton beams. "Marvelous!
And can you tell me WHY that
would be a tragedy?"
"Well,"
says the boy, "because it couldn't be an accident, and it
certainly
would be no great loss!"
- » Shingles were loose on Pennock's roof,
and
he complained about leaks to Barton, his neighbor.
"Why
don't you mend the roof?" asked Barton.
"I can't today,"
Pennock replied. "It's pouring rain."
"Well, why don't you patch
it in dry weather."
"It don't leak then!"
- » What do vampires put on their turkey at
Christmas ?
Grave-y !
- » When is a farmer like a magician?
When he turns
his cow into pasture.
- » What do you call an aardvark outside
Buckingham Palace?
A guardvark!
- » Policeman: Why were you
speeding?
Motorist: I wasn't going to miss seeing myself on "America's Most
Wanted."
- » After the first
takeoff of the fully
automatic airplane, the passengers heard the soothing,
reassuring voice
of the pilot: "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your
automatic pilot.
In my modern and carefully tested sytem an error is
absolutely
impossible, absolutely impossible, absolutely impossible,
..."
- » Why was the cowboy a lot of laughs?
He was
always horsing around.
- » Q: What is the difference between a trumpet
soloist and King Kong?
A: King Kong is more sensitive.
- » Did you hear about the two little boys who
found themselves in a modern art gallery by mistake ?
'Quick,'
said one, 'run ! Before they say we did it !
- » What do you give an elephant with big feet
?
Plenty of room !