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What do you call a pickled aardvark?
A
jarredvark!
Losowe wpisy
- » Why did the baby monster put his father
in
the freezer?
Because he wanted frozen pop.
- » Q: Why did the blonde keep ice cubes in
the
freezer?
A: So she could keep the refrigerator cold.
- » March Into Battle
by Sally Forth
- » Do you like web jokes?
Yes - they're
e-larious!
- » A very successful businessman had a meeting
with his new
son-in-law. "I love my daughter, and now I welcome you
into the family,"
said the man. "To show you how much we care for
you, I'm making you a
50-50 partner in my business. All you have to
do is go to the factory
every day and learn the operations."
The son-in-law interrupted, "I hate factories. I can't stand the
noise."
"I see," replied the father-in-law. "Well, then you'll
work in the
office and take charge of some of the operations."
"I hate office work," said the son-on-law. "I can't stand being
stuck behind a desk all day."
"Wait a minute," said the
father-in-law. "I just make you half-owner
of a moneymaking
organization, but you don't like factories and won't
work in a office. What
am I going to do with you?"
"Easy," said the young man. "Buy me
out."
- » When Mr Maxwell's wife left him,
he couldn't
sleep.
Why was that?
She had taken the bed.
- » How do fireflies lose weight?
They burn
calories.
- » Who is tall, dark and a great dancer ?
Dark
Raver !
- » "Mommy, all the kids at school
say I'm
a werewolf! Is that true?"
"No, of course not. Now shut
up and comb your face."
- » Do hamburgers make good vampires?
No, because
they always find themselves in ghoulash situations!
- » Food on the Table by E. Tittup
- » Q. What's a man's idea
of honestly in a
relationship?
A. Telling you his real name.
- » Trevor: That's a cool
pair of stockings
you have on Jill. One red and one green.
Jill: Yes, and I have
another pair just like it at home.
- » A newlywed couple, after bringing their
luggage into their cabin, stormed down to the desk. The bride was in
tears, and the groom was red faced. When asked what the problem was, the
groom started swearing at the desk clerk. "We booked a cabin with a
view
for our honeymoon, and all we get to see out the window is a
parking
lot!"
- » A herd of buffalo can move
only as fast as the slowest
buffalo, and when the herd is hunted, it
is the slowest and weakest
ones at the back that are killed first.
This natural selection is good for
the herd as a whole because the
general speed and health of the whole
group keeps improving by the
regular culling of the weakest members.
In much the same way
the human brain can only operate as fast as the
slowest brain cells.
Excessive intake of alcohol, we all know, kills
brain cells, but
naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells
first.
In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain
cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.
That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.