
Treść
Worried because they hadn't heard
anything for days from the widow in the neighboring apartment, Mrs. Silver
said to her son, "Timmy, would you go next door and see how old Mrs.
Kirkland is?"
A few minutes later, Timmy
returned.
"Well," asked Mrs. Silver, "is she all right?"
"She's fine, except
that she's angrywith you."
"With me?" the woman exclaimed.
"Whatever for?"
"She said 'It's none of your business how old she
is,'" snickered
Timmy.
Losowe wpisy
- » Now do you save a man from drowning?
Take your
foot off his head.
- » A college student in a philosophy class was
taking his first examination.
On the paper there was a single
line which simply said: "Is this a
question?" - Discuss.
After a short time he wrote: "If that is a question, then this is an
answer."
The student received an "A" on the exam.
A
Boston brokerage house advertised for a "young Harvard graduate or
the
equivalent."
Among the inquiries received was one from a Yale
grad. He said, "Do
you mean two Princeton men, or a Yale man part
time?"
- » At an outdoor press conference, Al Gore was
addressing harsh criticism of being "lifeless as a
statue."
"That is absurd," Gore stoically stated. "When elected, the people
of America will see just how passionate and alive I truly
am."
Embarrassed for her husband, Tipper, leaned in to whisper, "Honey, you
have a pigeon on your head."
- » Policeman: Why are you
driving
without a license?
Motorist: Because it was revoked months ago.
- » A young woman with a happy, cheerful voice was
working in her husband's trucking line office. She answered a phone
call from a trucker asking for directions to the terminal. After a
short
conversation, he said he could hardly wait to meet her. "I
just know
you are small, blond with blue eyes," he said. "No," young
woman
replied, "I'm tall, brunette and have brown eyes." "Close
enough!" said
the trucker.
- » A dentist friend of mine
had a T-shirt which
said on the front: Let me put my tool in your
mouth... and on the
back: ...and I will fill your cavity.
- » A guy
walked into the doctor's surgery for
an appointment. "Would you like
to tell me your problem?" the
pretty blonde receptionist asked.
"I'll need the information for the
doctor." "It's rather embarrassing"
the guy stammered. "You see, I
have a very large and almost constant
erection." "Well, the doctor
is very busy today" the receptionist
cooed, "but maybe I can squeeze
you in."
- » And Jesus said unto his disciples,
"Whom
do men say
that I am?"
And His disciples answered unto Him,
"Master,
thou art the supreme eschatological manifestation
of
omnipotent ecclesiastical authority, the absolute,
divine,
sacerdotal monarch."
And Jesus said, "What?"
- » Q. Why do blondes have more fun?
A. They are
easier to keep amused.
- » What do hamburger workers say on
Monday
morning?
Well, it's back to the old grind!
- » A friend and I were standing in line at a
fast-food restaurant, waiting to place our order.
There was a big
sign posted. "No bills larger than $20 will be
accepted."
The woman in front of us, pointing to the sign, remarked, "Believe me,
if I HAD a bill larger than $20, I wouldn't be eating here."
- » Yo mama has so many chins, it looks like
she's wearing a fat necklace !!
- » Q: What is the difference between a banjo and an
anchor?
A: You tie a rope to an anchor before you throw it
overboard.
- » How many nurses does
it take to
screw in a light bulb?
None - They just have a nursing assistant do
it.
- » Why is food better than men?
Because you
don't have to wait an hour for seconds.