Treść
Are you
getting older and wiser?
No,
he's getting older and wider!
Losowe wpisy
- » Why are pigs such early risers?
Did you ever
try to shut off a rooster?
- » People keep telling me I'm beautiful.
What
vivid imaginations some people have.
- » Men are like fine wine. They all
start out
like grapes, and it's a woman's job to stomp on them and
keep them
in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have
dinner with.
- » What is slimy and wobbly, tastes of
raspberry and lives in the seas?
A red jellyfish.
- » Why did the rabbit
run out of the fast-food
restaurant?
He thought he heard someone order a quarter pounder on
a toasted
bunny.
- » What's the difference between a
surgeon and a puppy?
If you put a puppy in a room by itself for an
hour, it'll probably
stop whining.
- » An
American touring Spain
stopped at a local restaurant following a day
of sightseeing. While
sipping his sangria, he noticed a sizzling,
scrumptious looking platter
being served at the next table. Not only
did
it look good, the
smell was wonderful. He asked the waiter, "What is
that
you
just served?"
The waiter replied, " Ah senor, you have excellent
taste! Those are
bulls
testicles from the bull fight this
morning. A delicacy!"
The American, though momentarily daunted, said,
"What the hell, I'm
on
vacation! Bring me an order!"
The
waiter replied, "I am so sorry senor. There is only one serving
per
day because there is only one bull fight each morning. If you come
early
tomorrow and place your order, we will be sure to save
you this
delicacy!"
The next morning, the American returned,
placed his order, and then
that
evening he was served the
one and only special delicacy of the day.
After a few bites, and
inspecting the contents of his platter, he
called
to the waiter
and said, "These are delicious, but they are much, much
smaller
than the ones I saw you serve yesterday!"
The waiter shrugged his
shoulders and replied, "Si senor. Sometimes
the
bull wins."
- » Knock Knock
Who's there !
Adam
!
Adam who ?
Adam up and tell me the total !
- » The food in our school canteen is
perfect.
If your a bug!
- » Bill and Steve are enjoying a beer and
discussing the possibility of love. "I thought I was in love three times,"
Bill says.
"Thought?" Steve asks. "What do you mean?"
"Three years ago, I cared very deeply for a woman who wanted nothing
to do with me," Bill says.
"Wasn't that love?" Steve asks.
"No, that was obsession," Bill explains. "Then two years ago, I
cared very deeply for an attractive woman who didn't understand
me."
"Wasn't that love?" asks Steve.
"No, that was
lust," Bill replies. "And just last year, I met a
woman while I was on a
cruise. She was gorgeous, intelligent, a great
conversationalist
and had a super sense of humor. Everywhere I followed her
on that
ship, I would get a very strange sensation in the pit of my
stomach."
"Well, wasn't that love," asks Steve.
"No. That was
motion sickness!" Bill replies.
- » Q: Why do Southern guys go
to family
reunions?
A: To meet chicks.
- » Definition of Divorce: The future tense of
marriage.
- » What do you get from a cow on the North Pole?
Cold cream!
- » Teacher : What is the most common phrase used
in school ?
Pupil : I don't know
Teacher: Correct !
- » Where did all the cuts and blood come
from?
The school went on a trip!