Treść
What do you call a thick-skinned
aardvark?
A hardvark!
Losowe wpisy
- » What do you give an elephant with big feet
?
Plenty of room !
- » How does a pig write home?
With a pig pen.
- » A jogger running down a country road
is
startled as a horse yells at him "Hey-come over hear buddy". The
jogger
is stunned but runs over to the fence where the horse is standing
and asks"Were you talking to me"? The horse replies"Sure was, man
I've got a problem. I won the Kentucky Derby a few years ago and this
farmer bought me and now all I do is pull a plow and I'm sick of it.
Why
don't you run up to the house and offer him $5,000 to buy me.
I'll
make you some money cause I can still run." The jogger
thought to
himself,"boy a talking horse" Dollar signs started appearing
in his head.
So he runs to the house and the old farmer is sitting
on the porch. The
jogger tells the farmer"Hey man I'll give you
$5,000 for that old
broken down nag you've got in the field". The
farmer replies"Son you
can't believe anything that horse says-He's
never even been to
Kentucky.
- » Q. How can you tell if a man
is happy?
A.
Who cares?
- » What did one
keyboard say to the other
keyboard?
Sorry, you're not my type.
- » Three guys are debating about which of their
languages is the
most pleasing to the ear.
The Spaniard says,
"Consider the word for 'butterfly'. In Spanish,
it is pronounced
'Mariposa', a beautiful sounding word."
The French man says,
"True, but Papillion, the French word for
butterfly, is even more
beautiful."
"What's wrong with Schmetterlink," asks the
German?
- » So one day, Gramma sent her grandson Johnny down
to
the water hole to get some water for cooking dinner. As he was
dipping
the bucket in, he saw two big eyes looking back at him. He
dropped the
bucket and hightailed it for
Gramma's kitchen. "Well
now, where's my bucket and where's my
water?" Gramma asked him.
"I can't get any water from that water hole,
Gramma" exclaimed
Johnny. "There's a BIG ol' alligator down there!"
"Now don't you mind
that ol' alligator, Johnny. He's been there for
a few years now,
and he's never hurt no one. Why, he's probably as
scared of you
as you are of him!" "Well, Gramma," replied Johnny, "if
he's as
scared of me as I am of him, then that water ain't fit to
drink!"
- » I don't think my Mom knows much about
children.
Why do you say that? Because she always puts me to bed when I'm
wide
awake, and gets me up when I'm sleepy!
- » Don't you just hate the blatant
materialism surrounding Christmas? And aren't you just dying to know what
you
got?
- » What's black and white and turns
cartwheels?
A piebald horse pulling a cart!
- » What did the bus conductor say to the frog?
Hop
on.
- » A fellow was following a truck in heavy
traffic.
Every block or so, when
they were stopped at a stop light, the
driver of the truck would jump
out
of the cab with a big stick and
bang on the side of the cargo bay.
He'd
then jump back into
the cab in time to drive away when the signal
changed.
The first
fellow observed this for several miles, until he could stand
it
no longer. The next time the truck driver jumped out with the stick,
the
first fellow jumped out and ran up to him. "I'm sorry to
bother
you," he
said, over the din of the banging, "but I am very
curious; could you
tell
me what you are doing?" Without breaking
rhythm, the truck driver
replied,
"Sure, Mac. Ya see, this
here's a six-ton truck but I've got eight
tons of
canaries
aboard, so I've gotta keep two ton of them flying all the
time so
I don't break an axle".
- » Doctor,
Doctor I'm scared of Father
Christmas
Doctor: You're suffering from Claus-trophobia.
- » Q: How many Democrats does it take to
destroy
a light bulb?
A: None. They only know how to destroy the
taxpayers.
- » What does a baby computer call his
father?
Data.