Treść
What do you call an aardvark that writes
poems?
A bardvark!
Losowe wpisy
- » Why don't Purdue athletes
eat pickles?
They can't get their heads in the jar.
- » What do you call a
loony spaceman ?
An
astronut !
- » So the bus
driver said to the string, "Are
you a string?" and the string said,
"No, I'm afraid not". (A frayed
knot).
- » What are the most athletic
rodents?
Track and field mice.
- » Two Virginia boys, Sonny
and Rick, went
out hunting and split up. Sonny heard some rustling in the
bushes
and, by mistake, shot his friend.
After trying to remove the
bullet, he carried Rick to a doctor.
Two hours later, after the
physician had patched up the wounded hunter,
Sonny asked, "Please, Doc.
How's my friend?"
"Well," answered the M.D., "he'd be a lot
better off if you hadn't
taken out his gut!"
- » Why did a anowman send his father to
Siberia?
Because he wanted frozen pop !
- » Q. What's the difference between a
dead
bagpiper in the road and a dead country singer in the road?
A. The
country singer may have been on the way to a recording
session.
- » Knock Knock
Who's there !
Bush
!
Bush who ?
Bush your money where your mouth is !
- » Mrs. Smith: Help me, doctor! My
son, John, swallowed the can opener!
Doctor: Don't panic. He'll
be alright.
Mrs. Smith: But how do I open the can of beans?! The
toast is getting
cold!
- » Where did the fortune-teller go on her
vacation?
To Palm Beach.
- » Women are like computers -- even your smallest
mistakes are
stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
- » Ralph was driving home one evening and
realized that it was his daughter's birthday and he hadn't bought her a
present. He drove to the mall and ran to the toy store and he asked
the
store manager, "How much is that new Barbie in the window?"
The Manager replied, "Which one? We have Barbie goes to the gym for
$19.95, Barbie goes to the Ball for $19.95, Barbie goes shopping for
$19.95, Barbie goes to the beach for $19.95, Barbie goes to the
Nightclub
for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $375.00."
"Why
is the Divorced Barbie $375.00 when all the others are
$19.95?!?",
Ralph asked surprised.
The Manager replies, "Well, Divorced
Barbie comes with Ken's car,
Ken's House, Ken's boat, Ken's dog,
Ken's cat and Ken's
furniture."
- » What is the left side of an apple?
The part
that you don't eat.
- » Q: How many MP's
does it take to change
a lightbulb ?
A: Twenty-one. One to change it and twenty to form a
fact-finding
committee to learn more about how it's done.
- » A local United Way office realized that it had
never
received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer.
The person
in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to
contribute.
"Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at
least $500,000,
you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to
give back to the
community in some way?" The lawyer mulled this over
for a moment and
replied, "First, did your research also show that
my mother is dying
after a long illness, and has medical bills that
are several times her
annual income?" Embarrassed, the United Way rep
mumbled, "Um...no."
"-or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is
blind and confined to a
wheelchair?" The stricken United Way rep began
to stammer out an
apology but was interrupted, "-or that my
sister's husband died in a
traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in
indignation,
"leaving
her penniless with three children?"
The humiliated United Way rep,
completely beaten, said simply, "I
had no idea..." On a roll, the
lawyer cut him off once again: "-so
if I don't give any money to
them,
why should I give any to
you?"