Treść
What do you call a three-footed aardvark?
A
yardvark!
Losowe wpisy
- » Teacher : What are you doing,
crawling into
school ten minutes late ?
Pupil : Well you told me never to walk
into school ten minutes late
!
- » Auntie Maud bought herself a new
rear-engine European car. She took an
old friend for a drive, but after
only half a mile the car broke down.
Both women got out and opened up
the front of the car.
"Oh. Maud," said her friend, "you've lost
your engine!"
"Never mind, dear," said auntie. "I've got a spare one
in the
trunk."
- » Q. How did the blonde die
ice-fishing?
A. She was run over by the zambonis machine.
- » A blind rabbit and a blind snake ran into each
other on the road one day. The snake reached out, touched the rabbit
and
said, "You're soft and fuzzy and have floppy ears. You must be
a
rabbit."
The rabbit reached out, touched the snake and
said, "You're slimy,
beady-eyed and low to the ground. You must be a
math teacher."
- » Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking there
is two
of me
One at a time please
- » Where do Russian cows come from?
Moscow!
- » Q: Why did the blonde give up bowling for
screwing?
A: The balls are lighter, and you don't have to change
shoes.
- » Who did the breeder call when his horse was
possessed by an evil spirit?
An exhorsist!
- » A patient was at her doctor's office after
undergoing a complete physical exam. The doctor said, "I have some
very grave
news for you. You only have six months to
live."
The patient asked, "Oh doctor, what should I do?"
The doctor
replied, "Marry an accountant."
"Will that make me live longer?"
asked the patient.
"No," said the doctor, "but it will SEEM
longer."
- » An elderly woman had just returned to her home
from an evening worship service and was startled to find an
intruder in
her house.
Catching the man in the act of burglarizing
her home, she yelled,
"STOP! Acts 2:38!" ("Repent and be baptized,
every one of you, in the
name of Jesus Christ so that your sins may
be forgiven.")
As the burglar stopped dead in his tracks, the
woman calmly called the
police and explained what she had done.
Shortly, several officers
arrived and took the man into
custody.
As he was placing the handcuffs on the burglar, one of the officers
asked, "Why did you just stand there? All the lady did was mention a
scripture verse."
"Scripture?" replied the
burglar.
"She said she had an axe and two 38's!"
- » Two
confirmed bachelors sat talking. Their
conversation drifted
from politics to cooking. "I got a cookbook
once," said the first,
"but I could never do anything with
it."
"Too much fancy cooking in it, eh?" asked the second.
"You said
it. Every one of the recipes began the same way -
'Take a clean
dish and....'"
- » I spent the whole evening
knotsurfing!
Don't you mean netsurfing?
No, everyone was complaining because I tied
the computer up for
ages!
- » What do you call a grasshopper
with no legs
?
A grasshover !
- » What does an educated owl say?
Whom.
- » What did one slug say to another who
had hit him and
rushed off?
I'll get you next slime!