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What do piggys take when they are sick?
Pigicillin!
Losowe wpisy
- » Edney and Cole, two Ohio Edison
electrical repairmen, were
working on a blown house circuit.
"Hey,
Cole!" said Edney. "See those two wires?"
"Sure," Cole
answered.
"Now just grab one of them."
Cole grabbed one of the
wires.
"Feel anything?" asked his partner.
"Not a
thing," answered Cole.
"Good!" said Edney. "Don't touch the other
one or you'll drop
dead!"
- » A door-to-door vacuum cleaner salesman
manages
to bull his way into a woman's home in a rural
area.
"This machine is the best ever" he exclaims, whilst pouring a bag of
dirt over the lounge floor.
The woman says she's really worried
it may not all come off, so the
salesman says, "If this machine
doesn't remove all the dust completely,
I'll lick it off
myself."
"Do you want ketchup on it?" she says, "we're not connected for
electricity yet!"
- » Monster: Someone told me Dr Frankenstein
invented
the safety match.
Igor: Yes, that was one of his most
striking achievements.
- » Knock Knock
Who's there !
Boiler
!
Boiler who ?
Boiler egg for four minutes !
- » What jumps up and
down in front of a car ?
Froglights !
- » What did the lightning bolt say to the old oak
tree?
-Hang onto your bark, this will be no ordinary
spark
- » Never Give Up! by Percy Vere
- » The accountant's prayer: Lord, help me be
more
relaxed about insignificant details, starting tomorrow at
10.53:16 am,
Eastern Daylight Saving Time.
- » Q: How many Taureans
does it take to change
a lightbulb? A: One, but just *try* to convince
them that the burnt
out bulb is useless and should be thrown away.
- » A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in
the
first class section of the plane. The stewardess rushes over to
her and
tells her she must move to coach because she doesn't have
a first class
ticket. The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm smart,
I have a good
job, and I'm staying in first class until we reach
Jamaica."
The disgusted stewardess gets the head stewardess who
asks the blonde
to leave. The blonde yet again repeats "I'm blonde,
I'm smart, I have
a good job and I'm staying in first class until
we reach Jamaica."
The head stewardesses doesn't even know what to
do at this point because
they still have to get the rest of the
passengers seated to take off;
the blode is causing a problem with
boarding now, so the stewardess gets
the copilot.
The copilot
goes up to the blonde and whispers in her ear. She
immediately gets
up and goes to her seat in the coach section. The head
st
ewardess asks the copilot in amazement what he said to get her to move
to
her correct seat. The copilot replies, "I told her the front
half of the
airplane wasn't going to Jamaica."
- » What brings the monster's babies? The
Frankenstork.
- » What flies around your light at night
and can bite off your head ?
A tiger moth !
- » Customer: "Wait, that
password looks
really gray. I'm going to type it in again."
- » Q. What do you
get when you cross a
crooked
politician with a dishonest lawyer?
A. Chelsea Clinton
- » What is stronger an elephant or a snail
?
A snail, because it carries it's house, an elephant just carries its
trunk !