Treść
What would a pig name a chain of food
stores?
"Stop "N Slop Markets"
Losowe wpisy
- » Witch: Doctor, I can't help pulling ugly faces.
Doctor: Well there's nothing terrible about that.
Witch: It is
when the people with ugly faces don't like them being
pulled.
- » - Who likes music? - asks a
commander.
- Two soldiers step forward.
- All right. I bought a piano.
Take it to my apartment on the fourth
floor.
- » What do headmasters and bullfrogs have
in common ?
Both have big heads that consist mostly of mouth !
- » What do you call a dog with no legs ?
It
doesn't matter what you call him, he still won't come !
- » What do Psychologists say to each
other when they meet?"
"You're fine, how am I? "
- » With four
daughters and one son always
dashing to school activities and part-time
jobs, our schedule was
hectic.
To add to this, we kept running out of household
supplies.
I instructed them all to let me know when they used the last of any
item by writing it down on a note pad on the
refrigerator.
As a reminder, I wrote at the top: "IF WE ARE OUT OF IT, WRITE IT
DOWN."
When I checked the pad a few days later, to my delight I
found the
following message:
"MOM, YOU MAY BE A BIT
OLD-FASHIONED, BUT YOU ARE NOT 'OUT OF
IT."'
- » Why didn't the two worms get on
Noah's
Ark in an apple ?
Because everyone had to go on in pairs !
- » What is the difference
between an elephant
and a flea?
An elephant can have fleas but a flea can't have
elephants !
- » When is the
most likely time that a stray dog
will walk into your house ?
When the door is open !
- » What do you call a man who claps at
Christmas
?
Santapplause !
- » What do you call the ring that worms leave round
the bath ?
The scum of the earth !
- » Why did the witch keep turning people into
Mickey
Mouse?
She was having Disney spells.
- » Three boys were walking along the beach one day
when
they see a cave. The first boy goes in and is looking at a
banknote on a
big rock when a ghostly voice calls out
'' I am
the ghost of Auntie Abel and this five dollars stays on the
table!''
The second boy goes in and is reaching for the money when the
same
thing happens again.
The third boy goes in ,sees the five
dollars and cries out,''I am the
ghost of David Crockett and this
five dollars goes in my
pocket!''
- » A boy is about to go on his first
date,
and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks his father for
advice.
The father replies: "My son, there are three subjects that
always
work. These are food, family, and philosophy."
The boy
picks up his date and they go to a soda fountain. Ice cream
sodas
in front of them, they stare at each other for a long time, as the
boy's nervousness builds.
He remembers his father's advice, and
chooses the first topic.
He asks the girl: "Do you like
spinach?" She says "No," and the
silence returns.
After a few more
uncomfortable minutes, the boy thinks of his father's
suggestion
and turns to the second item on the list. He asks, "Do you
have a
brother?" Again, the girl says "No" and there is silence once
again.
The boy then plays his last card. He thinks of his father's
advice and
asks the girl the following question: "If you had a br
other, would he
like spinach?"
- » How does a lobster answer the phone?
Shello?