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What do you call a Polish aardvark? A Polaark!

Losowe wpisy

» How many ants are needed to fill an apartment ? Ten ants !
» A Lutheran minister is driving down to New York to see the radio show and he's stopped in Connecticut for speeding. The state trooper smells alcohol on his breath and then he sees an empty wine bottle on the floor, and he says, "Sir, have you been drinking?" And the minister says, "Just water." The sheriff says, "Then why do I smell wine?" And the minister looks down at the bottle and says, "Good Lord, He's done it again!"
» A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft the skin from her body, so the husband offered to donate some of his own skin. However, the only skin on his body that the doctor found suitable would have to come from his rear end. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter. After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty! One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice. She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you d id for me. There is no way I could ever repay you." "My darling," he replied," think nothing of it. I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek."
» How do you make a milkshake? Give a cow a pogo stick.
» What is your favourite type of birthday present? Another present!
» Why are pigs such great football fans? They're always rooting.
» Why did the elephant paint his toenails red ? So he could hide in the cherry tree !
» Why don't anteaters get sick ? Because they are full of antibodies!
» What did the parrot say when he saw a duck? Polly want a quacker!
» A man is struck by a bus on a busy street in in New York City. He lies dying on the sidewalk as a crowd of spectators gathers around. "A priest. Somebody get me a priest!" the man gasps. A policeman checks the crowd----no priest, no minister, no man of God of any kind. "A PRIEST, PLEASE!" the dying man says again. Then out of the crowd steps a little old Jewish man of at least eighty years of age. "Mr. Policeman," says the man, "I'm not a priest. I'm not even a Catholic. But for fifty years now I'm living behind St. Elizabeth's Catholic Church on First Avenue, and every night I'm listening to the Catholic litany. Maybe I can be of some comfort to this man." The policeman agreed and brought the octogenarian over to where the dying man lay. He kneels down, leans over the injured and says in a solemn voice: "Under the B, 4. Under the I, 19. Under the N, 38. Under the G, 54. Under th e O, 72. . ."
» What do you get when you cross an idiot with a watch? A cuckoo clock.
» A White man explaining to a Mexican man says that there are three words the Mexican needs to know in order to be all right in the city: The White man says these words are: green, pink, and yellow. Then the White man says ''Now tell me a sentence using all three words.'' The Mexican says ''I hear de telephona ah greena greena, I pink up de phona and say ah yellow?"
» Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a dog. How long have you felt like this? Ever since I was a puppy!
» What did the Abominable Snowman do after he had had his teeth pulled out? He ate the dentist.
» Two hikers are out hiking. All of a sudden, a bear starts chasing them. They climb a tree, but the bear starts climbing up the tree after them. The first hiker gets his sneakers out of his knapsack and starts putting them on. The second hiker says, "What are you doing?" The first responds, "I figure when the bear gets close to us, we'll have to jump down and make a run for it." The second says, "Are you crazy? Don't you know you can't outrun a bear? The first guy says, "I don't have to outrun the bear... I only have to outrun you!"