
Treść
What do you get when you cross a pig with a billy
goat?
A crashing bore.
Losowe wpisy
- » What do
tigers wear in bed ?
Stripey pyjamas !
- » Which astronaut wears the biggest helmet?
The
one with the biggest head.
- » Dear Father
Christmas, this Christmas
could you please send me a yellow door.
Yours, Sherlock
Holmes
Watson: So why do you want a yellow door Holmes?
Lemon-entry my dear
watson.
- » Tyson's psychologist told Mike to
take a
year off, he obviously misunderstood....good thing he didn't
say
two!
- » Diner: Why are the
waiters in here so
nasty?
Waiter: Look at who they have to serve.
- » An Illinois man who left the snow-filled
streets of
Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a
business trip and was
planning to meet him there the next day. When he
reached his hotel, he
decided to send his wife a quick e-mail.
Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail
address, he did his best to type it in from memory. Unfortunately,
he
missed one letter and his note was directed instead to an elderly
woman
whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the
grieving
widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor,
let out a
piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint.
At the sound, her
family rushed into the room and saw this note on
the screen:
DEAREST WIFE:
JUST GOT CHECKED IN.
EVERYTHING PREPARED FOR YOUR ARRIVAL TOMORROW.
YOUR LOVING HUSBAND
P.S. SURE IS HOT DOWN HERE
- » Waiter on ocean liner: Would you like the
menu,
sir?
Monster: No thanks, just bring me the passenger list.
- » Why is your face all scratched ?
My girlfriend
said it with flowers.
How romantic.
Not really, she hit me round
the head with a bunch of thorny roses
!
- » Ref:I'm sending you off
Player: What for
?
Ref: The rest of the match !
- » How can you double your money?
Look at it in
a mirror.
- » Patient: Doctor, you must help me. I'm
under such a lot of stress, I keep losing my temper with
people.
Doctor: Tell me about your problem.
Patient: I JUST DID, DIDN'T I,
YOU STUPID BASTARD!!!
- » Fred: "Why are you so upset?"
Harry:
"My wife introduced me to her psychiatrist this morning."
Fred: "So
what?"
Harry: "So she said to him, 'Doctor, this is my husband.
You know,
one of the men I've been telling you about'."
- » How are tigers like sergeants in the
army ?
They both wear stripes !
- » Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a
dog.
Sit on the couch and we will talk about it.
But I'm not
allowed up on the couch!
- » Judge to witness: "And where was the location of
the
accident?"
Witness: "Approximately milepost
499."
Judge:: "And where is milepost 499?"
Witness: "About halfway
between milepost 498 and milepost
500."