Treść
Democrats' favorite Christmas carol is
"Deck the Halls."
Young Democrat's favorite Christmas carol is
"Grandma Got Run Over by
a Reindeer."
Republican's favorite Christmas
carol is "White Christmas."
Young Republicans' favorite Christmas
carol is "White
Christmas."
Losowe wpisy
- » Why does Dracula always travel with his
coffin?
Because his life is at stake.
- » Seventy-two-year-old Edgar recently picked a
new primary care physician. After two visits and exhaustive lab
tests,
the doctor said Edgar was doing "fairly well" for his
age.
A little concerned about that comment, Edgar couldn't resist asking
the doctor, "Do you think I'll live to be 80?"
The doctor
asked, "Well, do you smoke or drink beer?"
"Oh no," Edgar
replied, "I've never done either."
Then the doctor asked, "Do you eat
rib-eye steaks and bar-b-qued
ribs?"
Edgar said, "No, I've
heard that all red meat is very unhealthful!"
"Do you spend a
lot of time in the sun, like playing golf?" the
doctor
asked.
"No, I don't," Edgar replied.
Then the doctor asked, "Do you
gamble, drive fast cars, or run around
with women?"
"No,"
Edgar said, "I don't do any of those things."
The good doctor
looked at Edgar and said, "Then why the heck do you
want to live to
be 80?"
- » Why did the cow
jump over the moon?
To get
to the Milky Way!
- » What position does the pig play in football?
Loinback.
- » What's the difference between a
general practitioner and a specialist?
One treats what you have, the
other thinks you have what he
treats.
- » What is the fiercest flower in the
garden ?
The tiger lily !
- » What do you get if you cross a telephone with
a hunting dog?
A golden receiver!
- » A 54-year-old
accountant leaves a letter
for his wife one evening which read: "Dear Wife, I
am 54 years old,
and by the time you get this letter I will be at the
Grand Hotel
with my beautiful and sexy eighteen year old secretary."
When he
arrived at the hotel, there was a letter waiting for him that
read
as follows: "Dear Husband, I too am 54 years old, and by the time
you receive this letter I will be at the Savoy Hotel with my eighteen
year old toy boy. Because you are an accountant, you will surely
appreciate that l8 goes into 54 many more times than 54 goes into
18."
- » At a
convention of biological scientists
one researcher remarks to another:
"Did you know that in our lab we
have switched from mice to lawyers
for our experiments?"
"Really?" the other replied,
"Why did you switch?"
"Well, for four
very good reasons. First we found that lawyers are far
more plentiful,
second, the lab assistants don't get so attached to
them, third
there are some things even a rat won't do, and fourth
sometimes it
very hard to extrapolate our test results to human beings."
- » Why are there no
aspirin in the
jungle?
The parrots eat em all (Paracetamol)
- » Why do women have
smaller
feet than men?
- It allows them to stand closer to the sink.
- » "You seem to have more than the average
share of intelligence for a man of
your background," sneered the lawyer
at a witness on the stand. "If I
wasn't under oath, I'd return
the compliment," replied the
witness.
- » Q: Why were the
Clintonites pushing the
BTU Tax?
A: Because they could spell it.
- » Why did the blonde put her finger
over the
nail when she was hammering?
The noise gave her a headache.
- » Doctor, Doctor I've just swallowed a
pen
Well sit down and write your name!