Treść
Which aardvark holds the speed record?
The
nearsighted aardvark, who wrapped his tongue around a
motorcycle!
Losowe wpisy
- » Q: Why did the bass player get mad at the
timpanist?
A: He turned a peg and wouldn't tell the bass player which
one.
- » Yo mama so fat she was floating in the ocean
and
spain claimed her for then new world
- » Where do you take a Chihuahua that has fallen into
a lake?
To a weterinarian!
- » An elderly lady did her shopping and,
upon
returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with
her car. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding
to scream at them at the top of her voice, "I have a gun and I know
how to use it! Get out of the car, scumbags !"
The four men
didn't wait for a second invitation but got out and ran
like mad,
whereupon the lady, somewhat shaken, proceeded to load her
shopping
bags into the back of the car and get into the driver's
seat.
She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition. She
tried and tried, and then it dawned on her why. A few minutes later
she
found her own car parked four or five spaces farther
down.
She loaded her bags into her car and drove to the police
station.
The sergeant to whom she told the story nearly tore himself in two
with
laughter and pointed to the other end of the counter,
where four pale
white males were reporting a car jacking by a mad
elderly woman
described as white, less than 5' tall, glasses, and
curly white hair carrying
a large handgun.
- » Why did God create men
first? Because we learn
from mistakes.
- » There is a new Barbie doll on the market -
Mafia Victim Barbie
...feet set in cement--she really sinks!
- » Knock Knock
Who's there !
China
!
China who?
China late, isn't it? !
- » Nothing's
Ever Right by Mona Lott
- » What US state has the most cows?
Moosouri!
- » What happens
if you play tabletennis with a
bad egg?
First it goes ping, then it goes pong.
- » Good news! I've been given a goldfish for my
birthday
. . .the bad news is that I don't get the bowl until
my next
birthday!
- » They were married, but since the argument
they had a few days
earlier, they hadn't been talking to each
other.
Instead, they were giving each other written notes.
One
evening he gave her a paper where it said:
"Wake me up tomorrow
morning at 6 am."
The next morning he woke up and saw that it was
9 o'clock.
Naturally he got very angry, but as he turned around
he found a note on
his pillow saying:
"Wake up, it's 6
o'clock!"
- » These two friends are about to go to
a club.
One of them has a wooden eye. He said ''If someone says
something
about my eye, i'm gonna snap.'' They get there, and he asks a
girl to dance. She says, ''Would I?''
- » What do you call a cow that plays the guitar?
A
Moosician!
- » What is the difference between a
musician and a
dead body?
One composes and the other decomposes.