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Do vegetarians eat animal
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Losowe wpisy
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She
lays hand gren-eggs !
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Take
away its food!
- » A blind man was waiting to cross the road when a
dog stopped and cocked its leg against him. The blind man felt in
his
pocket for a sweet, bent down, and offered it to the dog. A
passerby
remarked what a very kind act that was considering what the
dog had done.
"Not at all," said the blind man. "I only wanted to
find out which
end to kick."
- » A boy with an elephant on his head went to
see a
doctor. The doctor said, "You know you really need
help"
"Yes I do", said the elephant, "get this kid off my foot !"
- » Yo
mama so ugly she got beat up by her
imaginary friends
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around her!
- » A
minister told his congregation, "Next
week I plan to preach about the
sin of lying. To help you
understand my sermon, I want you all to read
Mark 17."
The following
Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the
minister asked
for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many had read Mark
17.
Every hand went up. The minister smiled and said, "Mark has only
sixteen chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of
lying."
- » A blonde walks into a hair salon
to get her
hair cut wearing headphones. The stylist asks her to take off
her
headphones but the blonde refuses. So the stylist takes them off
and
the blonde collapses to the ground and dies. The stylist picks up the
headphones and hears, "Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe
out..."
- » Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!
Surely
not, sir. It must be one of those vitamin bees you hear so much
about.
- » What's another name for an parent?
Someone
who's stopped growing except around the waist.
- » Knock Knock
Who's there !
Cuba
!
Cuba who ?
Cuba wood !
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Yes, but
I really couldn't see what all the fuss is about.
- » Three men are traveling in the Amazon, a German,
an American, and a Mexican, and they get captured by some Amazons.
The
head of the tribe says to the German, "What do you want on your
back
for your whipping?"
The German responds, "I will take
oil!" So they put oil on his back,
and a large Amazon whips him ten
times. When he is finished the German
has these huge welts on his
back, and he can hardly move.
The Amazons haul the German away,
and say to the Mexican, "What do you
want on your back?"
"I
will take nothing!" says the Mexican, and he stands there straight
and takes his ten lashings without a single flinch.
"What will
you take on your back?" the Amazons ask the American.
He
responds, "I'll take the Mexican."
- » Who does a ghoul fall in
love with?
His
ghoul friend.
- » One Sunday morning the pastor
noticed
little Johnny was
standing staring up at the large plaque that hung
in the foyer of
the church. The young man of seven had been staring
at the
plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up and stood
beside him and gazing up at the plaque he said quietly, "Good
morning son."
"Good morning pastor" replied the young man not taking
his
eyes off the plaque. "Sir, what is this?" Johnny
asked.
"Well son, these are all the people who have died in the
service",
replied the pastor. Soberly, they stood together
staring up at the
large plaque.
Little Johnny's voice barely broke the silence
when he asked
quietly, "Which one sir, the 8:30 or the 10:30?"