Treść
What is the difference between a crazy bunny
and a
counterfeit banknote?
One is bad money and the other is a
mad bunny!
Losowe wpisy
- » Why was the robber so secure?
He was a
safe robber.
- » There is a new Barbie doll on the market -
Lumberjack Barbie ...sleeps all night, works all day
- » Policeman: Didn't you see
the signs
with the speed limit?
Driver: I thought they were just
suggestions.
- » An elderly man was quite unhappy because he
had lost his
favorite hat.
Instead of buying a
new one, he
decided he would go to church and swipe one out of the
vestibule. When
he
got there, an usher intercepted him at the door and took him to a
pew
where he had to sit
and listen to the entiresermon on "The
Ten Commandments." After
church, the man met
the preacher in the
vestibule doorway, shook his had vigorously, and
told him "I want
to
thank you preacher for saving my soul today. I came to church to
steal
a hat and after
hearing your sermon on the 10 Commandments, I
decided against it."
Preacher: "You mean the commandment 'I shall
not steal' changed your
mind?"
Old Man: "No, the one about
adultery did.
As soon as you said that I remember where I left my old
hat!"
- » Knock Knock
Who's there !
Bed !
Bed who
?
Bed you can't guess who I am!
- » Yo mama so bald even a wig
wouldn't
help!
- » An American automobile company and a Japanese
auto
company decided to have a competitive boat race on the Detroit
River. Both
teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak
performance. On the
big day, they were as ready as they could
be.
The Japanese team won by a mile.
Afterwards, the American team
became discouraged by the loss and their
morale sagged. Corporate
management decided that the reason for the
crushing defeat had to be
found. A Continuous Measurable Improvement Team
of "Executives" was
set up to investigate the problem and to
recommend appropriate
corrective action.
Their conclusion: The problem was that the
Japanese team had 8 people
rowing and 1 person steering, whereas the
American team had 1 person
rowing and 8 people steering. The American
Corporate Steering Committee
immediately hired a consulting firm to
do a study on the management
structure.
After some t
ime and billions of dollars, the consulting firm concluded
that
"too many people were steering and not enough rowing." To
prevent
losing to the Japanese again next year, the management structure was
changed to "4 Steering Managers, 3 Area Steering Managers, and 1 Staff
Steering Manager" and a new performance system for the person rowing
the boat to give more incentive to work harder and become a six
sigma
performer. "We must give him empowerment and enrichment." That
ought to
do it.
The next year the Japanese team won by two
miles.
The American Corporation laid off the rower for poor
performance, sold
all of the paddles, cancelled all capital investments
for new
equipment, halted development of a new canoe, awarded high
performance awards to
the consulting firm, and distributed the money
saved as bonuses to the
senior executives.
- » Q: What do you call a Blind Dinosaur?
A:
Do-ya-think-he-saurus.
- » Why do dinosaurs climb trees?
There's
nothing else to climb in the jungle.
- » Why did the vampire go crazy
at Burger
King?
He saw all that catsup and wanted a transfusion.
- » When is an aardvark jumpy?
When he's got
ants in his pants!
- » How did Columbus's men sleep on their ships
?
With their eyes shut !
- » Why did the bald man put a rabbit
on
his head?
Because he wanted a head of hare (hair).
- » All our pigs are learning karate.
Oh, I don't
believe that
No? Well, just watch out for their chops.
- » Who is bigger - Mrs Bigger or Mrs
Bigger's
baby?
Mrs Bigger's baby, because he's a little Bigger.