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What does a carpet salesman give his wife for Valentine's Day? Rugs and kisses!

Losowe wpisy

» Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months? A: Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.
» When does a hamburger wear a look like a smile button? When somebody says, 'Well done'!
» What did the bell say when it fell in the water? I'm wringing wet.
» If all the nations in the world are in the debt, where did all the money go?
» Waiter, what's this bug doing waltzing around my table ! It's the band, sir, they are playing his tune !
» Q: What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft? A: A flat minor.
» What is a baby bee? A little humbug.
» Three firefighters went out on a hunting trip. There was a rookie, a captain, and a chief. The weather was misrable and they hadn't seen any deer all day. They came across an old shack where they went inside to play a game of poker. After loosing a couple of hands, the rookie threw down his cards and said "that does it! I am going out to get me a deer." Fifteen minutes later, the rookie came back with a nice four point buck. The captain and chief asked, "how did you get that?" The rookie replied, "I walked out fifty feet, followed some tracks and shot this buck". The captain then said, "I've had enough of this I am going to get my deer." He came back a half hour later with a 6-point buck. The chief asked, "how did you get that?" The captain replied, "I walked out a hundred feet, followed some tracks and shot this buck." The chief not wanting to be out done said "I am out of here, I am g oing to bag the biggest buck of the day." He came back an hour later, all mangled up and bloody. The rookie and captain asked, "what happened to you?" The chief replied, "I walked out there five hundred feet, followed some tracks, and got hit by a train."
» Q: How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Four, one to change it and the other three to deny it.
» What do you call a crafty pig? CunningHam
» What kind of apple has a short temper? A crab apple.
» Q: How is Saddam like Fred Flintstone ? A: Both may look out their windows and see Rubble.
» There were three men working at the top of a building. One was Chinese, one was Mexican, and the other one was Polish. At lunch they went to the edge and the top of the building the Mexican guy pulled out a taco and he said if I get another taco I am gonna jump off this bulding tomorrow. The Chinese guy pulled out fried rice and said if I get fried rice tomorrow I'm gonna jump off with you. The Polish guy pulled out a ham sanwich and said if I get another ham sandwich I'm gonna jump tomorrow with you guys too. The next day the Mexican guy got a taco so he jumped off. The Chinese guy got fried rice so he jumped off. The Polish guy got a ham sandwich so hey jumped off the building. The next day their wives had a triple funeral and the Mexican guy's wife was crying and she said I could have made him a burrito or something. The Chinese guy's wife was cring and said I could have made him some sushi. Th e Polish guy's wife couldn't stop laughing. The other's asked what was so funny? She stopped for a second and said that he had always made his own lunch.
» Where do spiders play their FA Cup final? Webley stadium!
» A blonde bought a brand new car and decided to drive down from some place far off, to meet this friend. She reached there in a few hours. After spending a few days there, she decided to return, and called up her mother to expect her in the evening. But she didn't reach home in the evening and not the next day either. When she finally reached home on the third day, her distraught mother ran and asked her what happened? She got out, obviously very tired from a long journey, and said, "These car designers are crazy! They have four gears for going forward, but only one for going back!"