Treść
If we are a country committed to free
speech, then why do we have
phone bills?
Losowe wpisy
- » How do long distance runners send e-mail?
On
the sprin-ternet.
- » believe that the members of the dental
profession are the only men who can tell a women to open or close her
mouth and
get away with it.
- » Why are chorus girls like barge horses?
They
have to tow the line!
- » How far do burgers go in school?
Through
cowlege (then they get their 450 degrees!).
- » Read more Aardvark jokes
- » What's more dangerous than being with a fool
?
Fooling with a bee !
- » A reporter cornered George W.
Bush at a
press conference:
"Many say the only reason why you would be
elected for President is
due to the enormous power and influence of
your father."
"That notion is ridiculous!" mocked George Jr. "It
doesn't matter
how powerful the man is. He can only vote once!"
- » Q: Why did Bill Clinton
cross the
road?
A: To meet the chick.
- » Q: What do you call the
folks who hang
around the musicians at conservatories?
A: Violists.
- » Why do some accountants
decide to become
actuaries?
They find bookkeeping too exciting.
- » A man walking along a country road comes
across a farmer droving a huge mob of sheep. He stops and chats for a
while and then says, "Tell you what, I'll bet you $100 against one
of
your sheep that I can tell you the exact number in that
flock."
The farmer thinks for a moment, it is a big mob and he can't
see how
anyone could guess correctly so he says, "OK. You're
on."
"Nine hundred and thirty two," says the man.
The farmer
takes off his hat and scratches his head. "I don't know
how you did
it but that's exactly right. A bet's a bet. Take any
sheep."
The man picks up an animal and is about to walk off when the farmer
says, "Hang on. Bet you double or nothing that I can guess your
occupation."
The man thinks, "How would he know, he's never met
me before" and
says "Righto. You're on".
The farmer says,
"You're an auditor with a Big Four firm."
The man whistles
. "How the heck did you know that?"
"Well," says the farmer,
"put my dog down and I'll tell you."
- » A police officer saw a man dressed as a cowboy
in the street, complete with huge stetson hat, spurs, and six
shooters.
"Excuse me, sir," said the police officer, "who are
you?"
"My name's Tex, officer," said the cowboy.
" eh?" said the police
officer, "Are you from Texas?"
"Nope, Louisiana."
"Louisiana? So
why are you called Tex?"
"Don't want to be called Louise, do I .
- » A somewhat advanced society has figured
how to package basic knowledge in pill form. A student, needing some
learning, goes to the pharmacy and asks what kind of knowledge pills
are
available.
The pharmacist says, "Here's a pill for
English literature."
The student takes the pill and swallows it and
has new knowledge about
English literature!
"What else do
you have?" asks the student.
"Well, I have pills for art history,
biology, and world history,"
replies the pharmacist.
The
student asks for these, and swallows them and has new knowledge
about
those subjects. Then the student asks, "Do you have a pill for
math?"
The pharmacist says, "Wait just a moment." He goes back into
the
storeroom and brings back a whopper of a pill and plunks it on
the counter.
"I have to take that huge pill for math?" inquires
the student.
The pharmacist replied, "Well, you know ... mat
h always was a little
hard to swallow."
- » Which vampire ate the three bears' porridge?
Ghouldilocks.
- » Q. What did the salt say to the pepper?
A. Hey
Baby, what's SHAKING!