Treść
What's the most wicked thing a
group of
young accountants can do?
Go into town and gang-audit someone.
Losowe wpisy
- » 'Why are you crying, Ted ?' asked his
mum.
'Because my new sneakers hurt.'
'That's because you have put
them on the wrong feet.'
'But they are the only feet I have.'
- » What is the definition of a caterpillar ?
A
worm in a fur coat !
- » First cannibal: Come and have dinner in
our but tonight.
Second cannibal: What are you having?
First
cannibal: Hard-boiled legs.
- » Something
happened to me yesterday that
will never, ever, happen to me again.
How can you be so sure?
I
was 10 years old yesterday.
- » I want a hair cut please.
Certainly,
which one !
- » How many lawyers does it take
to stop a
moving bus?
Never enough.
- » Where do Danish cows come from?
Cowpenhagenf
- » Bill and Steve are enjoying a beer and
discussing the possibility of love. "I thought I was in love three times,"
Bill says.
"Thought?" Steve asks. "What do you mean?"
"Three years ago, I cared very deeply for a woman who wanted nothing
to do with me," Bill says.
"Wasn't that love?" Steve asks.
"No, that was obsession," Bill explains. "Then two years ago, I
cared very deeply for an attractive woman who didn't understand
me."
"Wasn't that love?" asks Steve.
"No, that was
lust," Bill replies. "And just last year, I met a
woman while I was on a
cruise. She was gorgeous, intelligent, a great
conversationalist
and had a super sense of humor. Everywhere I followed her
on that
ship, I would get a very strange sensation in the pit of my
stomach."
"Well, wasn't that love," asks Steve.
"No. That was
motion sickness!" Bill replies.
- » Jimmy, how many more times must I tell you to
come
away from that cookie tin?
No more, mom. It's empty.
- » Democrats' favorite Christmas movie is
"Miracle on 34th Street."
Republicans' favorite Christmas movie is
"It's a Wonderful Life."
Right-Wing Republicans' favorite
Christmas movie is "Die Hard."
- » Did they play tennis in ancient Egypt?
Yes,
the bible tells how Joseph served in Pharoah's court!
- » What's the difference between your finger and
a
hammer?
I don't know!
Well, you're not using my computer
keyboard then!
- » What did the cat say when he lost all his money
?
I'm paw !
- » What do you use to determine if a refrigerated
burger is cold enough?
A thermomeater!
- » "Will I ever be able to race my horse again" the
owner asked the vet.
The vet replied, "You certainly will, and
you'll probably beat her
too!"