a
b
c
d
e
f
g
h
i
j
k
l
m
n
o
p
r
s
t
u
v
w
x
y
z

Menu

Treść

Did you know that Dracula wants to become a comedian? He's looking for a crypt writer.

Losowe wpisy

» How do they prevent crime in hamburger country? With burger alarms!
» What's the definition of Polystyrene? A plastic parrot!
» Three guys, one Irish, one English, and one Scottish, are out walking along the beach together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. "I will give you each one wish, that's three wishes in total", says the Genie. The Scottish guy says, "I am a fisherman, my Dad's a fisherman, his Dad was a fisherman and my son will be one too. I want all the oceans full of fish for all eternity." So, with a blink of the Genie's eye FOOM! the oceans were teaming with fish. The Englishman was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around England, protecting her, so that no one will get in for all eternity." Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye POOF! there was a huge wall around England. The Irishman asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall." The Genie explains, "well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick, protecting England so that nothing can get in or ou t." The Irishman says, "Fill it up with water."
» PE Teacher: Why did you kick that ball straight at the school computer? Pupil: You told me to put it in the Net.
» Why did the monster drink ten liters of antifreeze? So that he didn't have to buy a winter coat.
» Two guys are talking about fishing. One says to the other, "I am NEVER going to take my wife fishing with me, ever again!" "That bad, huh" "She did everything wrong! She did everything wrong! She talked too much, made the boat rock constantly, tried to stand up in the boat, baited the hook wrong, used the wrong lures and WORST of all she caught more fish than me!"
» A very religious man lived right next door to an atheist. While the religious one prayed day in, day out, and was constantly on his knees in communion with his Lord, the atheist never even looked twice at a church. However, the atheist's life was good, he had a well-paying job and a beautiful wife, and his children were healthy and good- natured, whereas the pious man's job was strenuous and his wages were low, his wife was getting fatter every day and his kids wouldn't give him the time of the day. So one day, deep in prayer as usual, he raised his eyes towards heaven and asked: "Oh God, I honour you every day, I ask your advice for every problem and confess to you my every sin. Yet my neighbour, who doesn't even believe in you and certainly never prays, seems blessed with every happiness, while I go poor and suffer many an indignity. Why is this?" And a great voice w as heard from above: "BECAUSE HE DOESN'T BOTHER ME ALL THE TIME!"
» What do you call a scruffy, lazy ant? Decadant.
» A man once asked Gandhi what he thought of western civilization. Ghandi replied, ''I think it would be a good idea.''
» Why do so few men end up in Heaven? They never stop to ask directions.
» What did the ruthless businessman say to his employees? If at first you don't succeed - you're fired!
» A person turned on the computer without a keyboard plugged in. When she turns on the computer, the computer finds out that there is no keyboard attached and it gives a "Keyboard Error" message. She then asks "Why did it give me a keyboard error? There isn't even a keyboard attached?
» How do frogs manage to lay so many eggs ? They sit eggsaminations !
» Knock Knock Who's there ! Biafra ! Biafra who ? Biafra'id, be very afraid !
» A man was speeding down a Alabama highway, feeling secure in a gaggle of cars all traveling at the same speed. However, as they passed a speed trap, he got nailed with an infrared speed detector and was pulled over. The officer handed him the citation, received his signature and was about to walk away when the man asked, "Officer, I know I was speeding, but I don't think it's fair - there were plenty of other cars around me who were going just as fast, so why did I get the ticket?" "Ever go a fishin'?" the policeman suddenly asked the man. "Ummm, yeah..." the startled man replied. The officer grinned and added, "Did you ever catch 'em all?"