Treść
Which weather features do druggies like
most?
Highs
Losowe wpisy
- » A patient asked the dentist, if it
wasn't
nasty to be all the day with the hands in someone's mouth.
The
dentist answered "I just think of it as having my hands in their
wallet."
- » How do you hire an elephant ?
Stand it on
four bricks !
- » I'd like to buy a bed,
please.
Certainly,
madam. Spring mattress?
Oh, no! I want to be able to use it all
year.
- » What do you call rubber bumpers on
yachts?
Shark absorbers!
- » What is the best advice to give a worm?
Sleep late.
- » Two paratrooper
recruits in a
plane:
- Are you crazy, Vasily? You are going to jump without a
parachute.
- Is it mandatory to wear it?
- Sure. It's raining
outside.
- » What do you get if you cross a cow with a tension
headache?
A bad mood!
- » If you watch the way that many motorists
drive you will soon reach the conclusion that the most dangerous
part
of a car is the nut behind the wheel.
- » A man was
driving a black truck. His
lights were not on. The moon was not out. A lady
was crossing the
street. How did the man see her?
It was a bright, sunny day.
- » What are you doing?
I'm trying to
call Washington!
Oh, haven't you heard? He's dead!
- » What has 50 legs but cant walk ?
Half a
centipede !
- » A blonde and a redhead went to the bar after
work
for a drink, and sat on stools watching the 6 O'clock news. A
man was
shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge, and the
blonde bet
the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump.
Sure
enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead $50. The redhead
said,
"I can't take this, you're my friend."
But the blonde
insisted saying,
"No. A bet's a bet."
Then the redhead said
"Listen, I have to tell you that I saw this on the 5 O'clock
news, so
I can't take your money."
The blonde replied
"Well, so did I, but I didn't think he would jump again!"
- » Yo mama so tall she tripped in
Michigan
and hit her head in Florida.
- » A fire broke out in a six story apartment
building last week in a near by town. A blonde, a redhead, and a
brunette escaped the flames by climbing up onto the roof.
When the
fire department arrived they got out a blanket held it up and
the
Chief called out to the brunette to jump into the blanket.
The
brunette jumped. As she was falling 'swoosh' the firefighters
pulled
the blanket away and she landed on the street like a brick.
The
firefighters then held the blanket back up and the Chief told the
redhead
to jump.
"No way! I saw what you did to my friend." exclaimed the
redhead.
"I am sorry" said the Chief, "My wife was a brunette and she
divorced me. I just don't like brunettes. We have no problems with
redheads....jump it's your only chance."
So the redhead jumped.
On the way down 'swoosh' the firefighters
pulled the blanket away
and she hit the pavement like a tomato!"
The firefighters a
gain held up the blanket and the Chief told the
blonde to jump.
The fire was getting worse and her only chance of survival
was to
jump.
"No I am not jumping. I saw what you did to my two
friends."
"I'm sorry" said the Chief, "I explained what happened to the
brunette and when the redhead jumped we were a little distracted. It will
not happen again, just jump!"
The blonde thought for a moment. "OK
I'll jump - but first I want you
to lay the blanket on the ground,
back away, and then I'll jump into
it."
- » A stupid glazier was examining a broken
window. He looked at it for a while and then said, "It's worse
than I
thought. It's broken on both sides."