Treść
Two
weathermen each broke an arm and a leg
in an accident, and called from the
hospital about the four
casts.
Losowe wpisy
- » Monster: I've got to walk 25 miles
home.
Ghost: Why don't you take a train.
Monster: I did once,
but my mother made me give it back.
- » There was a woman who was pregnant with
twins, and shortly before they were due, she had an accident and went into
a coma. Her husband was away on business, and unable to be reached.
While in the coma, she gave birth to her twins, and the only person
around
to name her children was her brother.
When the mother
came out of her coma to find she had given birth and
that her
brother had named the twins, she became very worried, because he
wasn't
a very bright guy. She was sure he had named them something
absurd
or stupid.
When she saw her brother she asked him about the
twins.
He said, "The first one was a girl."
The mother: "What
did you name her?!?"
Brother: "Denise!"
The Mom: "Oh,
wow, that's not bad! What about the second one?"
Brother: "The
second one was a boy."
The Mom: "Oh, and what did you name
him?"
Brother: "Denephew."
- » Dear Boss,
I hope I haven't misunderstood
your instructions. Because to be
honest, boss, none of this Y to K
dates problem makes any sense to me.
At any rate I have finished
converting all the months on all the
company calendars so that the
year 2000 is ready to go with the following
improved months:
Januark, Februark, Mak, Julk.
In addition, I have changed the days of
the week, and they are now:
Sundak, Mondak, Tuesdak, Wednesdak,
Thursdak, Fridak and Saturdak.
Is it enough, or should I change any
other Y to K? I am a fan of the
New York Yankees. Should I call
them New Kork Kankees in order to be Y2K
ready?
- » Q: Why is
Bill infuriated with Chelsea's
new private school?
A: They broke family tradition by making her
wear a uniform.
- » What type of music do lightning bolts listen
to?
-Rock and Roll
- » A few moments after the daughter announced
her engagement, her Father
asked, "Does this fellow have any money
?"
The daughter shook her head sadly. "Oh Daddy ! You men are
all
alike."
sighing deeply, she replied, "That's exactly what he
asked me about
you."
- » Teacher: I wished you would pay a little
attention
Pupil: I'm paying as little as I can !
- » Employer: "In this job we need someone
who is responsible."
Applicant: "I'm the one you want. On my last
job, every time anything
went wrong, they said I was
responsible."
- » Q: Why did the bass player get mad at the
timpanist?
A: He turned a peg and wouldn't tell the bass player which
one.
- » Knock Knock
Who's there !
Ali
!
Ali who ?
Ali-luyah, at last you've opened the door !
- » Why did the dog say he was an
actor?
His
leg was in a cast.
- » Fred's new girlfriend uses such
greasy
lipstick that he has to sprinkle his face with sand to get a
better
grip.
- » Q: Who has the right of
way when
four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time?
A: The pick up
truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying,
"Guns don't
kill people. I do."
- » When a visitor to a small town in Georgia
came upon a wild dog
attacking a young boy, he quickly grabbed the
animal and throttled it with
his two hands.
A reporter saw the
incident, congratulated the man and told him the
headline the
following day would read, "Valiant Local Man Saves Child by
Killing
Vicious Animal."
The hero told the journalist that he wasn't from
that town.
"Well, then," the reporter said, "the headline will
probably say,
'Georgia Man Saves Child by Killing
Dog'."
"Actually," the man said, "I'm from Connecticut."
"In that case,"
the reporter said in a huff, "the headline should
read, 'Yankee
Kills Family Pet'."
- » Father:
Don't you think our son gets his
brains from me?
Mother: Probably, dear. I still have all of mine.