
Treść
Starting his new job at the zoo, the eager young
zoo keeper
asked the Head keeper what he should do for his first task.
"Go and
clean out the aquarium" he was told.
Arriving at the aquarium, he
discovered that all the fish were dead. He
rushed back to the head
keeper and asked what he should do. "Throw
them to the lions" said
the head keeper, "the lions will eat anything".
So the young keeper
returned to the aquarium, picked up all the dead
fish and threw
them into the lion's cage. That done, he returned and
asked what he
should do now.
He was instructed to go and clean out the ape house.
Off he went and
started cleaning. He was shocked to discover dead
chimpanzees in the
cage, and rushed back for instructions. "Dont
worry" said the head
keeper, "just throw them to the lions, the lions
will eat anything". So the
young man returns to the ape house
and throws the dead animals into the
lions cage.
Returning
again for instructions, he is told to go along and help clean
up the
insect house. Busy cleaning out one off the exotic hives, he
notices
that all the bees have died.
"I know what to do", he thinks to
himself "I'll throw them all to
the lions, as the lions will eat
anything", whereupon he brushes them
all up and throws them into the
lion cage. The next day, the zoo obtains
a new lioness. The lioness is
walking around the new cage for the first
time, and starts asking
the other lions what things are like here.
"Hows the
accommodation?", she asks. "Fine" comes the reply from one
lion. "And whats the
food like?" she asks.
"Not bad" replies another, "yesterday, we had
fish, chimps and mushy
bees".
Losowe wpisy
- » Q:
When will there be a woman in the White
House?
A: When Hillary leaves town.
- » How do wasps send messages?
By bee-mail.
- » A coffin was being moved
when it
fell off a wagon, and started down the hill. One of the
morticians
started chasing it. As it rolled past the hospital, the mortician
yelled to one of the nurse practitioners walking by, "Doc, quick, give
me
something to stop this coffin."
- » Q: Why did the blonde keep a empty carton of
milk in the fridge?
A: In case she wanted black coffee.
- » Yo mama so fat she went to the movies and sat
next to everyone
- » What kind of shoes to frogs like ?
Open toad
sandals !
- » What's a vampire's favorite hobby?
In-grave-ing.
- » Do you know why Eskimos always do their laundry
in tide?
Because it's too cold out-tide!
- » How do you make a tame duck wild?
Annoy
it.
- » Did you hear about the stupid turkey?
It
was looking forward to Christmas!
- » Why
don't mexicans have checking
accounts?
It's too hard to spray paint your name on the little line.
- » What didn't Adam and Eve have that
everyone else has?
Parents.
- » A magician was
working on a
cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience
would be
different each
week, so the magician allowed himself to do the same
tricks over and
over
again. There was only one problem: The captain's parrot saw
the shows
each week and
began to understand how the magician did
every trick. Once he
understood he started
shouting in the middle
of the show: "Look, it's not the same hat"
"Look, he is hiding
the
flowers under the table" "Hey, why are all the cards the Ace of
Spades
?" The magician
was furious but couldn't do anything; it
was, after all, the
captain's
parrot.
One day the ship had an
accident and sank. The magician found himself
on a piece of
wood
in the middle of the ocean with the parrot, of course. They stared
at
each other with hate,
but did not utter a word. This went on for a
day and another and
another.
After a week the parrot said:
"OK, I give up. Where's the boat?"
- » "Ever since we got married, my wife has tried
to change me. She
got me to
stop drinking, smoking and running
around until all hours of the night.
She taught me how to dress
well, enjoy the fine arts, gourmet cooking,
classical music, even how
to invest in the stock market," said the
man.
"Sounds like
you may be bitter because she changed you so
drastically,"
remarked his friend.
"I'm not bitter. Now that I'm so improved, she
just isn't good
enough
for me."
- » A snake and a rabbit were racing along a pair of
intersecting forest pathways one day, when they collided at the
intersection. They immediately began to argue with one another as to who was
at
fault for the mishap.
When the snake remarked that he had been
blind since birth, and thus
should be given additional leeway, the
rabbit said that he, too, had been
blind since birth. The two
animals then forgot about the collision and
began commiserating
concerning the problems of being blind.
The snake said that his
greatest regret was the loss of his identity.
He had never been able to
see his reflection in the water, and for that
reason did not know
exactly what he looked like, or even what he was.
The rabbit declared
that he had the same problem. Seeing a way that they
could help
each other, the rabbit proposed that one feel the other from
hea
d to toe, and then try to describe what the other animal was.
The snake agreed, and started by winding himself around the rabbit.
After a few moments, he announced, "You've got very soft, fuzzy fur,
long ears, big rear feet, and a little fuzzy ball for a tail. I
think that
you must be a bunny rabbit!"
The rabbit was much
relieved to find his identity, and proceeded to
return the favor to
the snake. After feeling about the snake's body for a
few minutes,
he asserted, "Well, you're scaly, you're slimy, you've
got beady
little eyes, you squirm and slither all the time, and you've
got a
forked tongue. I think you're a lawyer!"