Losowe wpisy
- » Pride is what you feel when your kids net $143
from a garage sale.
Panic is what you feel when you realize your
car is missing.
- » Why did God invent economists?
So
accountants could have someone to laugh at.
- » A man wakes up early one morning and
decides
to go Bear hunting.
He tells his wife, "You've got three choices;
you can go Bear hunting
with me,
I'll do you anally or you can
give me a blowjob.
I'm gonna load up the truck and get the dog out.
Make up your mind before I get back.
"The man returns twenty
minutes later and says, "Well what's it
gonna be?
"She say's,
"There's no way I'm going Bear hunting
and you're not doing my ass
so I guess it's a blowjob.
"A couple minutes later she starts
choking and spitting and says,
"Jesus, you taste like shit.""Oh yeah,"
he replies,
"The dog didn't want to go Bear hunting' either."
- » Q: What did the blonde's
dentist
find?
A: Teeth in the cavity.
- » Tyson's psychologist told Mike to
take a
year off, he obviously misunderstood....good thing he didn't
say
two!
- » A man walks
into a bar
and orders a shot then looks into his pocket. he does this
over and
over again. finally the bartender asks why he orders a shot and
after drinking it he looks into his pocket. the man responded " i have
a picture of my wife in there and when she starts to look good then
i'll go home."
- » What's a moo hoo for a cow barn on a holiday?
A merry dairy!
- » Knock Knock
Who's there !
Brad
!
Brad who ?
Brad news I'm afraid !
- » Mrs. Filmore returned home from a business trip
and asked her
husband,
"How did Greg do on his history
exam?"
"Oh, not so good," he replied.
"But it wasn't his
fault. They asked him about things that happened
before he was
born!"
- » Q: How many Scorpios does it take to change a
lightbulb? A: That information is strictly secret and shared only
with the
Enlightened Ones in the Star Chamber of the Ancient
Hierarchical
Order.
- » There was a man staying the night
in a hotel. He called the
front desk and said,
"Excuse me, sir,
I've got a leak in my sink."
The man at the front desk replied,
"Oh, okay, go ahead, but most
guests just use the toilet."
- » "Do you
believe in life after
death?" the boss asked one of his employees.
"Yes, Sir," the new
employee replied.
"Well, then, that makes everything just fine,"
the boss went on.
"After you left early yesterday to go to your
grandmother's funeral, she
stopped in to see you."
- » Why do you think your report should be on the
net?
Because my marks are all 'E's.
- » Teacher: What's 2 and 2
Pupil:
4
Teacher: That's good
Pupil: Good ?, that's perfect !
- » There are bats hanging of a branch
upside down, all except one. Two bats comment: "What's happened to this
one?
- I don't know, two minutes ago he seemed normal and then
he
fainted.