Losowe wpisy
- » Two parrots are sitting on a perch. The
first one says to the other "can you smell fish?".
- » President Clinton died and knocked at
the
Pearly Gates. "Who goes there?" inquired St. Peter.
"It's me, Bill Clinton".
"What bad things did you do on earth?"
Clinton thought a bit and answered, "Well, I smoked marijuana,
but you
shouldn't hold that against me because I didn't inhale.
And I lied,
but I didn't commit perjury."
After several
moments of deliberation St. Peter replied, "OK, here's
the deal.
We'll send you someplace where it is very hot, but we won't
call it
'Hell.' You'll be there for an indefinite period of time,
but we
won't call it 'eternity.' And don't 'abandon all hope' upon
entering, just don't hold your breath waiting for it to freeze
over."
- » A little
boy came downstairs crying late one
night.
"What's wrong?" asked his mother.
"Do people really come
from dust, like they said in church?" he
sobbed.
"In a way they
do," said his mother.
"And when they die so they turn back to
dust?"
"Yes, they do."
The little boy began to cry again. "Well,
under my bed there's
someone either coming or going."
- » Hey buddy.
How late does the band
play?
About half a beat behind the drummer.
- » Q: How many
helicopters does it take for
White House aides to go play a round of golf?
A: Depends on how many
were photographed.
- » Two blondes are on
opposite sides of a
lake.
One blonde yells to the other, "How do you get to the other
side?"
"You are on the other side," the other blonde yells
back.
- » How does the Easter Bunny stay
healthy?
Eggsercise, particularly hareobics!
- » How do you keep a programmer in the shower
all day?
Give him a bottle of shampoo which says "lather, rinse,
repeat."
- » Who went into a witche's den and came out
alive ?
The witch !
- » Why does a
dinosaur climb a tree?
To
get in his nest.
- » An honest weatherman says, "Today's
forecast is bright and sunny with an 80% chance that I'm
wrong."
- » What did the big carburettor say to the
little carburettor?
"Don't inhale so fast or you'll choke."
- » When should you feel sorry for a
skunk?
When its spray pump is out of order!
- » What do you get if King Kong sits on your
piano?
A flat note.
- » What do freezing rain and cake icing have in
common?
Both are a glaze