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| Podobne wpisy |
 Weather jokes - Why is the sky not happy on clear
days?
It has the blues Snake jokes - Did you hear about the stupid snake?
He lost
his skin. Dirty jokes - A blonde goes into a bar. The bartender asks her
what she would like, and she replies, "Bring me a beer."
The
bartender then asks, "Anheuser-Busch?"
To which she replies, "Fine
thanks, and how's your cock?" Barbie doll jokes - There is a new
Barbie doll on the
market - Mutant Barbie ...Professor Xavier's
daughter: bald as a
billiard ball, wearing a Dark Phoenix costume Dirty
jokes - While
participating is the Olympics a young gymnast had
her first sexual experience,
going to bed with a stunning foreign
participant. Upon returning to her
hometown, she promptly went to
confession. After receiving absolution,
the gymnast was so delighted
that she did cartwheels down the aisle to
the door. Waiting her turn,
Old Mrs. Ole said to her friend, "can you
believe what Father
Johnson is giving for penance? Of all the days for me
not to be wearing
panties." Insect jokes - What has 6 legs, bits and talks in code ?
A
morese-quito ! Lawyer jokes - A local United Way office realized that it had
never
received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer.
The person
in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to
contribute.
"Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at
least $500,000,
you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to
give back to the
community in some way?" The lawyer mulled this over
for a moment and
replied, "First, did your research also show that
my mother is dying
after a long illness, and has medical bills that
are several times her
annual income?" Embarrassed, the United Way rep
mumbled, "Um...no."
"-or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is
blind and confined to a
wheelchair?" The stricken United Way rep began
to stammer out an
apology but was interrupted, "-or that my
sister's husband died in a
traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in
indignation,
"leaving
her penniless with three children?"
The humiliated United Way rep,
completely beaten, said simply, "I
had no idea..." On a roll, the
lawyer cut him off once again: "-so
if I don't give any money to
them,
why should I give any to
you?" Yo momma jokes - Yo mama
so fat she goes to a resturant,
looks at the menu and says "okay!" Men jokes - A neighbor of
mine was bit by a stray rabid
dog. I went to see how he was and found him
writing furiously. I told
him rabies could be cured and he didn't have
to worry about a
will. He said, "Will, what will? I'm making a list
of people I'm
gonna bite." Travel and tourist jokes - Guest: Why did you offer me a piece
of
candy?
Hotel Clerk: You said you wanted the best suite in the
hotel. Aviation jokes - An airplane was flying from LA to New York.
About an
hour into the flight, the pilot announced, "We have lost an
engine,
but don't worry, there are three left. However, instead of 5
hours
it will take 7 hours to get to New York."
A little later, the
pilot announced, "A second engine failed, but we
still have two
left. However, it will take 10 hours to get to New
York."
Somewhat later, the pilot again came on the intercom and announced, "A
third engine had died. Never fear, because the plane can fly on a
single engine. However, it will now take 18 hours to get to new
York."
At this point, one passenger said, "Gee, I hope we don't lose that
last engine, or we'll be up here forever!" Dinosaur jokes - What's red on the
outside and green on
the inside?
A dinosaur wearing red pajamas. Insect jokes - What insect lives on
nothing ?
A moth,
because it eats holes Clinton jokes - During a recent publicity outing, Hillary
sneaked off
to visit a
fortune teller of some local repute. In a
dark and hazy room,
peering into a crystal ball, the mystic delivered
grave news.
"There's no easy way to say this, so I'll just be
blunt: Prepare
yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a
violent and
horrible death this year."
Visibly shaken, Hillary
stared at the woman's lined face, then at
the single flickering candle,
then down at her hands. She took a
few deep breaths to compose
herself. She simply had to know. She
met the fortune teller's gaze,
steadied her voice, and asked her
question:
"Will I be
acquitted?" Internet jokes - Have you seen www.amnesia.com?
Sorry, I
just can't remember.
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