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Food jokes - What did the female mushroom say about the male mushroom? "He's a real fun guy [fungi]."
School jokes - Did they play tennis in ancient Egypt? Yes, the bible tells how Joseph served in Pharoah's court!
Gorilla jokes - If you throw a great Ape into one of the Great Lakes, what will it become? Wet!
Waiter jokes - Waiter, waiter! What's this creepy crawly thing doing in my dinner? Oh, that one ? he comes here every night.
Cat jokes - What do you call a cat wearing shoes ? Puss in boots !
Sport jokes - What is a runner's favourite subject in school ? Jog-raphy !
Firefighter jokes - A fire started on some grassland near a farm in Indiana. The fire department from the nearby town was called to put the fire out. The fire proved to be more than the small town fire department could handle, so someone suggested that a rural volunteer fire department be called. Though there was doubt that they would be of any assistance, the call was made. The volunteer fire department arrived in a dilapidated old fire truck. They drove straight towards the fire and stopped in the middle of the flames. The volunteer firemen jumped off the truck and frantically started spraying water in all directions. Soon they had snuffed out the center of the fire, breaking the blaze into two easily controllable parts. The farmer was so impressed with the volunteer fire department's work and so grateful that his farm had been spared, that he presented the volunteer fire department with a check for $1000. A local news reporter asked the volunteer fire captain what the department planned to do with the funds. "That should be obvious," he responded, "the first thing we're gonna do is get the brakes fixed on that stupid fire truck."
Telephone jokes - What did the man say when he got a big phone bill? "Who said talk is cheap?"
Elephant jokes - How does an elephant get down from a tree ? He sits on a leaf and waits till autumn !
Hair and bald jokes - What do you get if you cross a hairdresser and a bucket of cement ? Permanent waves !
Business jokes - A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law. "I love my daughter, and now I welcome you into the family," said the man. "To show you how much we care for you, I'm making you a 50-50 partner in my business. All you have to do is go to the factory every day and learn the operations." The son-in-law interrupted, "I hate factories. I can't stand the noise." "I see," replied the father-in-law. "Well, then you'll work in the office and take charge of some of the operations." "I hate office work," said the son-on-law. "I can't stand being stuck behind a desk all day." "Wait a minute," said the father-in-law. "I just made you half-owner of a moneymaking organization, but you don't like factories and won't work in a office. What am I going to do with you?" "Easy," said the young man. "Buy me out."
Military jokes - The first woman recruit in the Army reported for duty and was told that although her quarters would be in a separate building, she was to mess with the men. It wasn't until four weeks later someone finally told her that meant to eat her meals with them.
Bath jokes - What happened to the tiger who took a bath three times a day ? After a week he was spotless !
College jokes - What do you get when you cross a Texas Aggie with an ape? A retarded ape.
Dog jokes - Q: How did bulldogs get such flat noses? - A: From chasing cars.