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Business jokes - Two Italian construction workers were in the field on an extremely hot day working.. the one says to the other " hey how come we do all a da work and he gets all a da money?" pointing to the supervisor. The other says, "I don't know, go ask him." So Guido goes up to the supervisor and says "Hey, how come we do all a da work and you get all a da money?" The supervisor says "Intelligence". Guido says "what is this intelligence?" The supervisor puts his hand on a tree and says "Hita my hand as hard as you can!" Guido winds up and with all his might tries to hit the supervisors hand. Just as he almost does the supervisor pulls his hand away and Guido hits the tree! The supervisor says "That's intelligence". Still smarting Guido goes back to his co-worker and his co-worker says "Hey what did he say?" With a sheepish look on his face Guido puts his hand on his face and says "hita my hand as hard as you can. . ."
Computer jokes - Q: What do you get when you cross a Pentium PC with a research grant? A: A mad scientist.
Parent jokes - Bentley and his wife and son were sitting at the dinner table when the boy suddenly blurted out, "Gee, you're dumb, Mom. You don't know anything." "Now, son," scolded Bentley, "you musn't be picky about your mother's little faults."
Men jokes - What did God say after she made Eve? "Practice makes perfect."
Banana jokes - Why is a banana peel on the sidewalk like music? Because if you don't C sharp you'll B flat.
Weather jokes - How did the rainbow know is was lost? -It was a clear day
Bicycle jokes - The cyclist, passing a pedestrian crossing, runs into a man, and they both fall down. -"Geez, are you lucky." The cyclist says. -"What do you mean by lucky ?" The pedestrian angrily asks. "I got hurt really bad." -"Ah, you're lucky because I recently lost my license. I usually drive a bus."
Witch jokes - What is old and ugly and can see just as well from both ends ? A witch with a blindfold !
Dog jokes - Why do dogs run in circles ? Because its hard to run in squares !
Fishing jokes - Q: How many anglers does it take to change a light bulb? A: Four, one to change the light bulb and three to brag about how big the old one was and about the one that they would have changed, but "It got away"
Dirty jokes - Once upon a time, a guy was sitting at a bar. He was throwing money around, giving the barman hundred dollar tips and buying drinks for everyone. He was surrounded by a crowd of adoring women. The barman liked the tips, but he was kind of curious about a little man that would jump from the rich guy's pocket. The little man would run up and down the bar, kicking over the bowls of peanuts and giving people the finger. Then the little guy would jump back into the man's jacket for a while. The barman went over and asked the guy what was up. So the rich guy says, "Well, let me tell you a little story. I was walking along a beach one day, and I come across this lamp. I rub it, and a genie popped out. I got three wishes, so my first wish was to be fabulously wealthy. Then I wished for a harem. You can see I got both." The barman asks, "So what about that little guy in your jacket?" "Oh, tha t," mumbles the rich guy. "That's the twelve-inch prick I wished for."
Men jokes - Men are like department stores. Their clothes should always be half off.
Money jokes - Farmer: What would you do if a bull charged you? Mary: I'd pay whatever it charged.
Birthday jokes - Fred: Do you like the dictionary I bought you for your birthday? Harry: Sure. It's a great present but I just can't find the words to thank you enough.
Travel and tourist jokes - An American tourist travelling in Limerick came across a little antique shop in which he was lucky enough to pick up, for a mere $150, the skull of Saint Patrick. Included in the price was a certificate of the skull's authenticity, signed by Saint Patrick himself. Ten years later the tourist returned to Ireland and asked the antique shop owner if he had any more bargains. "I've got the very thing for you," said the Irishman. "It's the genuine skull of Saint Patrick". "You swindler!" shouted the American. "You sold me that ten years ago," and, producing the skull, added, "Look, they're not even the same size!" "You have it all wrong," said the Irishman. "This is the skull of Saint Patrick when he was a lad."